Matty

I think you have a valid point. I psoke to her last night. Things jsut generated into a row. So I said if she wants her space to think and start to miss me then I wont call anymore as this willalways happen. She then said that to that maybe if I called and jsut had a normal conversation that might help. What do I do there then?? She i basically being stubborn and pushing me away. As much as I said that im trying to put myself in her shoes etc and be more understanding she says that she cant afford to wait for me to forge tall this and flare up again. Bascially words will nto work and may be I can jsut call he tot see hwo she is and then maybe she'll start to miss me. I dont know anynmore!!!!

Hi My problem basically lies with the fact that my g/f mum died about 4 weeks ago. Since that time she been very cold to me and has doubted our realtionship together. The way she has acted and what she said made me wonder what was going on and basiclly on Fridya dn asked questions of what she wanted, whether she loved me any more, whether she wnated me around, etc etc. She wouldnt answer which frustrated me even more and made me ask more quesitons. Bascally this went on friday niht and into saturday morning. That wa sthe last time I saw her as she wanted some time apart over the weekend and she was doubting my contribution to her life as I was an added stress when she needed to concentrate about her mum dying. I spoke to her last night saying that i relaise i was stressing her out and that I ddint mean to. I dont want to loose her at all. Athings seemed to be going fine and we spoke about what we did at the w/e. I then said that I went out Sunday night to a club and seh totally flipped. Saying it was inappropriate to go out to somwhwere like that. She said that if things were bad they were even worse now. Do I just give her time and space for i)to calm down ii)to think about he r mum Her mum died in valentines week and we didnt celebrate valentines. We agreed to celebarte it today, pancake day. ive not contact her all day and Im wondering what I should do. I dont want to push her further away.

Ok, I have posted earlier this week. Last night I spoke to my g/f. We disucssed things that were said over the weekend.She hadnt decided either way but knew that she couldnt answer my question which were understandable.She doesnt feel ready to see me yet as all we would do is discuss things and she jsut wanted some time to herself.We then spoke about what we got up to over the weekend. (SHe didnt want to see me all weekend. SHe had a bloke friend round on Sunday night. I wanted to see her but she said this friend was round for a cup of tea,so I aksed whether it was liekly that we would see each other,partly so I kew what I was doing as my friends were going out in town. She said she wanted an early night and that by the time her friend was going to leave etc etc it probably wasnt worth it, basically didnt want to see me).So I went out.So when she aslked my instead of lying I said I went out.Not on the oull nothing like that. The people I spoke to when I was out all I did was go on about my g/f and hopw much I missed her, hwo difficult things were and hwo i felt about her. I told her all of this and from things being ok on the phone she flipped saying that she couldnt believe that with things in our r/s so rocky that I went out and that were I went to wasnt appropriate and that the people I went with wasnt appropriate ie they are single and on the pull. i explained that I have a mind of my own and that I can go out and not be on the pull and that all I spoke abotu was her and thought abotu was her. She obviously didnt believe me. Basically accusing me that because my car wasnt in my drive when she went to work that Id stayed at someone hous e that id pulled, when in fact id gone to work early because i could nt sleep thinking bwout her!!! She just bascially kpet going on and evetually she annoyed me so much that she was being so unreasonable. The convo ended. She then went into text mode saying that I made her feel aweful becuase I spoke to a girl,that i must have really played on her mind for me to go out and that if it had been the other way round and shed have gone out id have gone mad.I said the difference being that I woudl have wanted to see her to start with, she wouldnt have been talking about me to blokes on the pull and that they wouldnt have been mingers, like this girl was that i was talking too. All along my g/f said it wasnt a matter of trust just that it was un appropriate that I went where I did.She wouldnt answer her phone to me and we continued the debate over text which i hate. i heard nothing until later last night when she said that she told me about this bloke coming round so I knew what she was doing and that she wasnt doing anything behind my back that i didnt know about,and that i ddint show her the same consideration. Eventually i pursuaded her to answer her phone. She just continued to rant at me and like always it was left to me to back down and try and calm the situation. SHe was like a woamn possessed and said that if things were bad they were even worse now. I said that I didnt want to loose her, that when things are good they are great time but that if she felt things had goen to far which she kpet saying (you better get used to going out with your friends on the pull) that if she wanted to finish things then she shoudl do so. I can reallly remember hwo it was left. I think she said that she needed some space but that I shoudl keep in contact with her. DO I leave things and wait for her to contact me??I dont want to be seen as the one who didnt contact her? If people have seen my previous its been a difficult time for her,her mum died recently, do you think it was fair for her to react the way she did?? Another thing is that her mum died in valentines week. We decided not celebrate valentines that week, but today on Pancake day. Do I just right this day off that we would celebrate it due to us rowing, do I sent her a nice text, if so what do i say that not to mushy and will not push her further wawy but will let her kno that I want her???Or do i just leave it?

Hi, Im not sure what im feeling today, but I think we maybe on the verge of splitting up and theres not alot I can do about it. On Friday I asked questions of our relationship and went on a bit. I wasnt nasty to her jsut questioned what was going on with us and whether she wanted me around at this time as I got the impression I wasnt wanted. After reading your post earlier, I only saw it today, im really regretting saying what i did. I havent seen her all weekend but have spoken to her about things. She says that ill never understand everyithing fully and that the way I was is just an added stress to her. Thing is its difficult not to take things personally when its someone I love so much. Ive missed her so much although its only been two day. I went out last night as she had a friend round and wanted "an early night", a polite way of saying I dont want to see you. All I talked to people about was her even to the point of soemone chatting me up all I was going on about my g/f . Although we've had quite a troubled realtionship as her mum was ill throughout it I do love her and wouldnt want to be without her. Thing is though I feel its been taken to far and I think she thinking more of us splitting up than staying together. I dont want to loose her. I want to see her tonight and tell her this but I feel shes not as keen to see me. I want to say these things to her but is it to late?? Would I ust be wasting my breath.Is it best to wait for her to contact me?? In some ways I just want to find out what sort of decsion,if any she has made over the weekend about our relationship continuing.I think she bascially feels that ive let her down and not really supported her. I just want her to know that I want to be with her, to be there for her. is there any good way of going abotu this?All I want is five minutes to say what I have to say

Hi, I need advice on how to handle and cope with my girlfriend who's mum died about 3 weeks ago. Im finding it very difficult to cope with her and how shes been. Understandably she up and down, moods keep changing and in some ways I receive the brunt of all her emotions. I find it difficult to not take it all personally. I dont know if this is jsut a reaction to what has happeneded or whether she really does mean what she says. Like the other day she asked "do I really she a future in us". It was asked as if she'd thought about it and thought herself there was no future. I asked her if that was the case and she said that she hadnt really thought about it as she had more pressing things on her mind. Part of me thinks that im being used to get her through this all as a support and then one day she;; turn around and say that she doesnt want us to be together but thanks for being there when I needed you. How does one cope with all of the emotion she has. How do you handle things. From a realtionship point of view how do i treat her. Do things get better ???????????Its very difficult to be in the relationship at the moment and I dont know what to do