Hi all,
Thank you for the warm and encouraging responses.
Today is Monday, and it has almost been a week. I decided Saturday
that it is time to make some big changes in my life. The first thing
I did for myself was to quit drinking for the next couple of months.
That felt good in itself, and my mental state is already much better.
I also joined a gym, and have been working out steadily 2 hours a day since Saturday. Man that feels good too.
I have kept up with my pledge to give her time and space.
She has been calling me daily since the break-up, and I have not called her. She says that she will continue to call me to provide support while I deal with my issues, and if things change in a big way she will reconsider getting back into the realtionship (BUT she has her reservations about
whether things will work out at all). Talk about mixed signals.
I can also tell that she is hurting with this, and is angry with me. When she calls me, she acts cold and puts up this false protective wall - every once in a while she slips back into friendly mode, and then realizes this and is bitchy again.
Last night, I had had some time to think about my life, and our relationship. I told her this, and entered into an extremely honest and brutal talk about my behaviors, and apologized. I also affirme for her that I realized that I had not been meeting some of her specific needs. I explained that if and when she would like to spend some of her time with me, that I would be appreciate this and be honoured. She seemed honestly taken by this all, and I could sense her anger and resentment coming down. She would call me again tonight (Monday).
I'm scared that she is doing this just to make herself feel better (and less guilty about backing out of things). I'm scared that as soon as I get my shit together, she will still want out of the relationship.
I want to win this girl back, but I also need to focus on me. I think I'm going to keep making positive changes, and try woo my babe back slowly but surely. I know I'm going to have ease off, or back off any early attempts to see her though.
Any tips or similiar experiences appreciated.
Thanks
Thatwhiteguy30