Reaching Out: How to Mend a Broken Friendship

Friends make life an adventure to explore and often serve as the family we get to choose for ourselves. But when friendships falter, it can be difficult to know how to move forward. Taking the first steps to mend broken friendships can be especially hard, especially when we're already feeling frustrated by hurts and misunderstandings. It can be challenging enough to take initiative and navigate relationship conflict; however there are effective ways to bring long-term healing into our damaged relationships.

When rebuilding after a rough patch, the first step is making the decision to reach out. We don't have to wait for the other person to make the first move: If a friendship is important to us, then we need to set aside false pride and be the one to accept responsibility for restoring the bond. While it can feel uncomfortable to make ourselves vulnerable, especially when we're on the receiving end of a misunderstanding, it's essential to open to courageously start a dialogue. Instead of simply waiting around, make a phone call or send a message to express your intention to reconnect and make amends.

Opening yourself up often leads to the road of reconciliation and moving on, but rushing through the process can further damage an already delicate relationship. By allowing ourselves to listen and truly understand the other person's perspective, we can then move forward with a healed and strengthened bond. Oftentimes, misunderstandings can linger when we don't take the time to respectfully listen. We should also remember that taking measurable steps in the conversation can help to prevent arguments from becoming Cyclical. Pose questions that both invite our friend to share honestly how they're feeling about the situation, as well as what their expectations are for the friendship going forward. This creates an opportunity to move towards resolution, instead of getting stuck in "what's wrong".

At the same time, it's important to avoid making any assumptions and focus on expressing our own expectations and intentions clearly. When we take ownership of our part in the discord and offer tangible actions to foster goodwill, it's easier to stay rooted in respecting the other person's boundaries while restoring the relationship. We should strive to communicate openly the expectations each party has for the future of the repair.

It's important to remember that when conversations become heated, staying grounded can keep us from speaking out of hurt and blame. In some cases, repeating "I" and "me" statements can help to avoid pointing fingers and let's our friend know that it's us attempting to take responsibility for our feelings. When problems arise, this kind of language helps to maintain respect and clarity within the conversation. Similarly, actively deferring to our friend's lead to demonstrate that we're willing to trust their guidance during the process can be beneficial.

We should remember that sometimes time alone can be just as beneficial as physical and verbal communication. Giving space can provide us and our friend with the chance to heal in our own way without feeling overwhelming amounts of pressure. Mutual respect and understanding when giving space can help both people's emotional states heal and give them the breathing room necessary to come back stronger than ever.

Starting the conversation and committing to a healthy and mature outcome is work worth investing in. Renewing friendships requires patience, vulnerability, and intentional effort, but doing so allows for a lasting relationship that both parties can benefit from. Forging these kinds of connections can help put all individuals in a better emotional and mental state, leading to a life full of healthy and meaningful friendships.