74aries Posted January 25, 2004 Share Posted January 25, 2004 Just a question.... How can you tell if someone is fighting their feelings? Are there any clear cut signs or does it depend on the person? Link to comment
whitefang Posted January 25, 2004 Share Posted January 25, 2004 Greetings 74aries, Could you be a little more specific about what sort of feelings are we talking about? whether someone likes someone if you can provide more information maybe myself and the others could help you. Thanks. - whitefang Link to comment
74aries Posted January 25, 2004 Author Share Posted January 25, 2004 sorry about that. I mean when you are with someone and you have feelings for someone else that you aren't suppose to have or you may not want to have, cause you can't control your feelings. Help this helps. Link to comment
whitefang Posted January 25, 2004 Share Posted January 25, 2004 Right is it yourself that has feelings for someone else whilst with your partner. Or is it someone else that has feelings for you and they shouldn't? I just need a little more information, sorry... - whitefang Link to comment
neallo82288 Posted January 25, 2004 Share Posted January 25, 2004 Still need a little more information. Like who's fighting their feeling and why you suspect that they are fighting their feelings. Are you looking for a way to disguise your feelings so your significant other does not see them? Any way what I am reading here is the start and only start of two different posts. Give a little more information and maybe we can help. Link to comment
74aries Posted January 25, 2004 Author Share Posted January 25, 2004 Let's see, how I can explain it. I think that a guy friend of mine may have feelings for me. He is in a committed relationship. We talk and are so what close. Anyway, we get to a level of being comfortable with each other and then he just shuts down, I to take a step back, but I know what I am doing, as far as distance. He will avoid me for a while and then when I ask him he says he isn't but I know he is. He even told a friend of ours that he was. Anyway, if we don't talk for a while he comes on like he misses me and when I tell him that I have missed him he tells me that it means alot to him. Then we go through awhile of not communicating. I hope this gives more info into my question. Thanks Link to comment
whitefang Posted January 25, 2004 Share Posted January 25, 2004 Thanks, im slowly getting the picture now. By what you have said he obviously doesn't have the same feelings he did have for his partner or he's not getting what he want's from her and is now looking for someone else to fill that part that he's not getting. I would urge you to be careful even though he is a friend, i would suggest confronting him about it and she what sort of reaction you get from him look at his body language when he replies to you. If it persists i think you should tell his partner i mean if their in a comitted relationship or so she thinks it would be fair on her. I mean the ball is in your court you hold all the cards etc, so it up to you if you can resolve this and still be friends (then brilliant) but just be careful. Hope this has been of some help to you. All the best. - whitefang Link to comment
neallo82288 Posted January 25, 2004 Share Posted January 25, 2004 Sounds to me like he is fighting feelings. But, I also recognize that you have some strong feelings for him too. He has told you that he does not have feelings for you, so you must just go with the flow. Allow his relationship to run its course. You might have a chance in the future. My best friend is a female and she has relationships, but since me and my ex broke up our relationship has gotten alot closer. Your friendship might be damaged if you continue to pursue him. Leave him alone and if you can keep it strickly on a friendship basis. If he shuts down (when you feel completely comfortable) then he is feeling too comfortable which is making him uncomfortable. He is in a committed relationship and he is respecting that and you must too. Just be his friend and look for nothing more than that. Hope this helps, Neallo Link to comment
74aries Posted January 25, 2004 Author Share Posted January 25, 2004 I'm not pursuing him. I just didn't understand how he could be hot and cold toward me and I have talked to another one of my friends who said that he could be having feelings for you. I look at him only as a friend nothing more. I don't want to jump to any conclusions and ruin a good friendship with this, if I talked to him about it. Yes, I do care for him but just as a friend. I was just looking for second opinion. Thanks Link to comment
whitefang Posted January 25, 2004 Share Posted January 25, 2004 He's just mixed up at the moment with these feelings he's feeling. I was in a similar situation i wanted to be with someone who was already in a commited relationship. We talked she cared for me as friend and that was all and now that we cleared that me and her bf a friends and she likes more because i made the effort to get know her bf more and because i value our friendship which i never want to lose. If he is a true friend then he will value your friendship and respect you wishes. Tell him make sure that he understands what your telling him im sure it will work out for you. All the best. - whitefang Link to comment
neallo82288 Posted January 25, 2004 Share Posted January 25, 2004 I agree with whitefang and suggest that you tell him how you feel. Tell him that you just want to be his friend and nothing more. Make sure that when you hang out that you let him know that you are just friends. Tell him that your friendship is very important to you and that you wish to keep it on that level. Truth is of the uttmost importance. Link to comment
74aries Posted January 25, 2004 Author Share Posted January 25, 2004 thanks, guys for your input. Now I have a better understanding of the situation and kind of what he is feeling. Link to comment
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