Batya33

You've chosen not to accept -not "can't" - has he changed such that he never makes those sorts of comments or just not as often? Why does he need to talk to you about anything if it's not happening -what are the talks about -how do you show you are choosing not to trust him?

Yes- been there. And opposite -never imagined and -there was interest! Glad you tried - doesn't matter what co workers perceive -she is not interested in dating you and better to move on now so you don't waste time ruminating and you'll be open to someone enthusiastic about dating you!

I was copying what you wrote and agreeing with you. Sorry for the miscommunication. I'm glad! I reread what you wrote -were you being sarcastic? I missed that. I think not apologizing in the name of pride can be a sign of weakness- that is what I thought you meant -now I see you were saying what he would think? It was confusing to me.

What's wrong with a nice gesture -it's only one rose.

I liked gestures like that -one guy wo turned out to be a pathological liar -sigh - brought me a biscotti because I'd mentioned I liked a specific type. Another brought me a treat for the same reason. A single rose seems lovely to me.

I don't think she's that interested in dating you and if she does she'll be lukewarm about going and likely cancel. I'd move on. I'm sorry you're disappointed.

Always fair. I took safety into account.

Is he a lot better or has he stopped making any such comments? What is the reason for couples therapy?

You feel what you feel -just don't burden him with having to reassure you. Separately, in time, hopefully you will feel less needy too.

I only discussed if safe to do so -especially on a first date or first meet. Second date-depends on how well I knew him.

It is a sign of weakness I agree. I hope your son in law is doing ok.

You won't find your person unless you disqualify efficiently unless you're ok with settling. I wasn;t. My husband and I started officially being back together a week after I turned 39. He was 38. Married 15 years yesterday he said my text almost made him laugh out loud at his conference he is attending (something about how I couldn't believe that a small cut on my finger from a vegetable peeler made our entrance way look like a crime scene Colombo would have a field day with -yes we're old). OK so he was probably checking out the ladies while he texted (joking!) but obviously he's still into me at least my morbid humor. I didn't settle. And I also wanted a baby so badly!!! I almost did even 6 months or so before he and I got back in touch -so so close to doing that. That guy is happily married to his person -same year my husband and I married -it all worked out. Please don't settle for creepy/tacky behavior.

I would also stop that habit because all you need it letting it inadvertently last a bit too long and being noticed. I'm personally into maintaining eye contact with the person I am with, not rehearsing what I'm going to say next- no need to lock eyes all the time or be intense but I am with that person. Whether my husband or friend or family member. Yes. I stared at Bon Jovi in an elevator my then boyfriend and I were riding. There are exceptions!!!

Right -do you want to put up with that level of immaturity? What if he leers at a friend of yours he's meeting for the first time as she walks into the meeting place -before he knows it is she? Wouldn't you be mortified??

No it's not because of gender or his cultural background. I have bad habits too like picking at my nails/playing with my hair and when I went on a date or interviewed or was in public at a place to make an impression I physically restrained myself from doing those things. If he apologized he knows he was leering not scanning/noticing.