Why am I having trouble??

[southpole854]

Well I have gotten out of a relationship of over 2 years a few months ago so I

decided to try an date new girls.. I am very rusty... My friends girlfriend said

she has a friend who may like me.. The girl is gorgeous.. I went out 2 times

with my friend, his girl, and the girl they are trying to set me up with... I

barely talked to her at all.. I usually don't have a problem talking to people

but I just couldnt think of anything to say. Any tips and maybe helping us to

get more comfortable around each other because I am really interested in her.

[sabena]

what did you talk about with your previous girlfriends?

 

It sounds stupid but find out what she does for living/study before you next meet up and read around it a little, then ask her what she does and be interested...ask her questions about it, what she wants to do in the future...where she has been and what she likes to do...

 

There is no magic formula, I think you have to be comfortable with yourself, stop worrying about whether or not you are chatty enough and it will come. The moment we fear rejection is the moment that we still there quiet...

 

If you say to yourself "well if I speak crap to her its got to be better than not saying anything at all" you will relax.

 

 

~*it is better to do, than to do well*~

[OmegaMan]

I for one believe this is a very good suggestion. I would strongly suggest to follow this suggestion.

 

Etienne

 

If you say to yourself "well if I speak crap to her its got to be better than not saying anything at all" you will relax.

 

EDIT: I realise what I said wasn't very helpful.

 

I completely understand how you feel. I don't mind speaking to ok women, but when they're gorgeous I'm lost for words really. I believe the worst thing you can do I being obsessed about breaking the silence. I realize the more you force things the worse it goes. I believe things should go naturally if you're relaxed. Try not to focus on the fact that you don't have anyting to say, and once you're calm things will just pop into your mind.

 

Good luck!