Turning a New Leaf?

[Third Wheel]

I'm still a innocent high school student, but, I'm a little confused. My entire high school career...I tried to be happy, out going, friendly, and always positive. Now, as my senior year is drawing to a close, some people have come up to me saying, in all seriousness (and hopefully good faith) that I seem to upbeat. I was told that I couldn't be taken seriously, and I should think before I talk more often.

 

I've always been a people pleaser, and now, I see that it isn't working out so well. With some friends, I feel like very natural with, and I've grown close to them over my 4 years at high school. But, with other people, I guess I must act differently, because they see me differently, and treat me differently. So, I've decided to change. I don't know if I can make that decision or not, but I'm going to try. And the first thing I think I need to do is cut off old friendships/bonds, the ones that I think are built on me just trying to be a people pleaser.

 

(finally on topic)

 

My "friend" has been with me for 3 years now. At first it was just a school only friendship, and then we started car pooling, and spending hours upon hours with each other. Just us two alone, and I didn't feel awkward at all. And this year, this "friend" even started calling me at random hours to come hang out (which I think of as a plus, because only close friends can call at 2 in the morning and expect an answer). But then, within the last month, everything's changed.

 

I've always been nice to her, going out of my way to be helpful, because I guess its in my nature to try to help others out. Now though, I feel like I'm being used almost. In class, she'll ask me for help, but as soon as she's done, she becomes rude. I used to be able to just go up and give her a hug, and now, if I so much as pat her on the back, I get yelled at. I just don't understand what I did. Now, in the course of barely a month, she's nicer to people she's known for a shorter time than she is to me.

 

I want to either repair the friendship, or drop it completely. But, I have no idea how. I'm tired of trying to be friendly and getting nowhere for it. Any advice? She's friends with a LOT of my better friends/acquiantances, and I don't want the end of my senior year to go awry, so any ideas?

[Fisch]

Wait are you saying that you have made this change and your friend is changing her behavoir as a result, or you want to change your behavoir as a result of the way she is acting and other things?

[pesh]

Hmmm... girls are confusing aren't they? My advice would be to talk to her... see what's up, and tell her how you feel. Be sure that when you are doing this, that you dont say things that blame her, such as "You are always so mean to me... etc" but instead use "I" statments, which are like this- "I feel/get ________(emotion) when you _______(example of negative behavior). This is less likely to put the other person on the defensive side. Corny, yes, but it usually works!