She Flirts, I Flirt... but

[Boughs]

So last night I went to a party, where there are some interesting drama situations in, but I was there nonetheless... primarily to see for myself how normal things can be, also to pay respect, but also because of this girl. Now that I am 21 and have been through a few long term (1 year, 2years, 8months) relationships, I've lost the ability it seems to be heavily attracted to a girl, (here comes the "but" case) but I find this girl heavily attractive. We flirt and she comes over to me, and I to her... its obvious she likes me... but there are two problems.

 

1) I dated her roommate. I broke things off and all is/seems cool. But its still messy, even after 2 months.

 

2) She has a BF

 

Yeah, 1 isn't nearly as significant as 2... the strange thing is, is that she flirts with me... and lets me flirt with her. I swear we almost kissed too... but I pulled away as I was worried it'd lead us in a wrong path to destruction. Anyways, we talked after the party even, and she was really trying to get it out of me to say "i like you" but I witheld as I want to wait till she is out of her relationship to even consider... and even then at least 3-5 months after the breakup. So what this really boils down to, is do I avoid her? or should I still go to the parties she is at? I think my attraction to her overrides a lot of rational thinking, so I'd be afraid I'd let it slip.

 

Do I stop talking to her? do I mention I like her but I'd not try anything until her relationship is figured out? When I see her do I flirt still? If we don't do anything its harmless fun right?

[ghost69]

has she told you that she has a bf? if so, stay away. if you found this out on your own and she is pursuing you, why not go for it. it's her fault, not yours. she could have had a crush on you the whole time you were with her roommate. i usually tend to shy away from girls that i know have a bf. i don't need the drama. the roommate thing wouldn't bother me.

[WhiteForest]

Well, flirting with someone else's gf can get you into a lot of trouble. You were right to pull away and not admit that you like her. Bottom line is she has a bf. If she wants to be with you, then she should break up with him. However, she may be waiting to see if you actually do want to be with her. Her perspective may be that if you don't she will be losing her current bf for nothing. Tread lightly - you don't won't to wind up in a really dramatic situation if the bf finds out. It won't be very harmless if the guy finds out. This is a hard one... maybe you should give it some more time before you jump head in. It could also be that she's just having fun with this. She may just like the idea of having more than one person wanting her. Does she have a history of cheating? How long has she been with this guy and what is their relationship like?

[ghost69]

if she wants to be with you and is waiting for you to say it....what happens if she dumps the guy and gets with you? wouldn't you be worried that it would happen to you? it's best to stay away from these kinds of girls.

[Pacific loansum]

I just found out that my ex-girlfriend has been secretly hanging out with my best and only friiend. We've been broken up for a month, she initiated their "relationship" the week we broke up because she was "crushing."

 

I feel * * * *ty even though they didn't do anything, but the point is that I feel betrayed.

 

Don't do this to that girls BF. It's just f'ed up. Tell her to break up and wait a month or so, depending on how long they've been together. Lust is lust, but you guys have the power not to play with others' emotions.

 

Do the right thing

[Boughs]

She didn't tell me she had a bf. I found out... Their relationship has been having problems lately I think... she hasn't been dating him for more than 6 months I'm sure.

 

She is more of a commanding kind of girl... she doesn't back down... stands up for things, pretty honest sometimes brutally. I find it really attractive... I don't think she is the kind of girl that just likes having multiple people go after her. I think she is tired of that because she is really attractive. I mean 2 other guys were trying to get with her at the same time last night (by the way I was watching them talk to her and whatnot). She does like it to some extent but I'm sure she isn't aiming to manipulate me.

 

But yeah, I understand the dangerousness of it all... esp. if she is doing it now in her relationship what keeps her from doing it if we date. That is something I tend to struggle with because I believe people when they are trully into someone/something that no matter their previous record it could change. But i guess thats just high hopes.

[ghost69]

let their relationship finish completely. also, if it does, don't jump right into one with her and be the rebound.

[Boughs]

let their relationship finish completely. also, if it does, don't jump right into one with her and be the rebound.

 

 

Yeah, thats what I've been thinking... I guess its the right way to go about it sadly. Well I dunno if I'll wait around that long heh.