cpo3619 Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 So I have been in NC for just a little bit and I was wondering something..... If my ex tries to contact me in the future should I completely ignore her? i'm not sure what to do because maybe in awhile she will want to talk things over.......I mean I wouldn't really mind getting back together with her.........thats why i'm confused Link to comment
Diggitydave Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 take some time to really think things over while you're apart. Link to comment
laboheme Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 I think the general rule of thumb is to maintain NC until you don't even have to think about whether or not you're in NC. If your ex contacts you with anything other than "I made a mistake, can we give things another try," don't respond unless you know 100% that you won't be turning into a teary-eyed mess if you happen to see her with a new guy. It could be that by the time she contacts you, you won't have any interest in talking to her, even. A period of NC really does help clear your head and your heart (I never thought it would, but it does), and you may not be feeling the same way about her a month or a year down the road. Hang in there! Link to comment
Tezza Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 When your both happy and have definitely moved on from each other... If there is some unfinished business maybe you should talk to your ex, really its up to you. I just hope that what she talks to you about is what you really want to hear, hopefully you don't get hurt if she doesn't want to get back together with you... Link to comment
cpo3619 Posted April 10, 2007 Author Share Posted April 10, 2007 it just sucks and is messing with me because basically she said I want to end up with you.....its just that we are so young....I want to get to know myself and be alone and independent for awhile.....you should move on.............and she had said this before and ended up calling me and we got back together for about another month......then the same thing happened again but we remained friends and hung out maybe once a week most..........then i asked her to go on a date....she told me again she wasent ready....so basically i got frustrated and kinda told her off and have been in NC now..... Link to comment
ExarionUniverse19 Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 Hmm... I think your situation is different from mine because she was more specific with her reasoning that my ex (glares). She said that she's too young and immature, and that the relationship has a chance in the future, right? In my case, I've told myself that even if she does contact me with hopes of reconciliation, I won't consider it. I'm doing this for 2 reasons: 1) So I can move on -- thinking that even if she does contact me we won't reconcile helps me. I don't want to live by this hope... 2) She's young and immature too, and I don't think a relationship will work right now -- we need time and space to understand our wants and needs. But since she's already told you her feelings... talk to her if she talks to you about reconciling, and consider it. If it's about anything else, just keep with NC. Once you're both over it, it's OK to remain in contact, but you have to be careful. Link to comment
cpo3619 Posted April 10, 2007 Author Share Posted April 10, 2007 hey yea we are kinda in the same situation.........thanks for the good advice!....I think i will remain in no contact and if she does call i can always say i need time to think..........................also one more thing!!!! We both have a ton of the same friends, also go to the same events, most likely will see eachother driving, and my friends like to go where she works a lot(restaurant).........what should I do!!! I know i will most likely see her around in the next month or two even if she doesen't call me! Link to comment
ExarionUniverse19 Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 Yeah... seeing each other often is tough. I've been able to avoid her every day but one since starting NC while at school, but in your case... think about it like this: there are people you see every day that you don't really acknowledge, and it doesn't sound like you're going to see her that much, or talk to her... if you do see her, just don't worry about it. If you're only going to see each other driving, you won't have any real contact, right? And if your friends like to go to that restaurant, you can use them to distract you from her. It's not an easy thing to do, but I guess you can try and ignore the fact that she's there. If it becomes too much of a problem, you can always stay away from these events. I haven't had to deal with my ex much though, so I'm not sure if it'll work. Link to comment
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