Leave everything behind and start over?

[Leon1]

It's a complex story, I'll make it as short as I can, if you need more info to give advice, ask?

 

My family moved from Russia to NYC few years ago. At first it was hard to integrate being a 17 year old. I have a brother (a twin, but not identical). We were always very close, even more so when we moved to USA, because we had no one else. We always hung out together, people were always amazed at how close we can be.

I met a girl, and fell in love. We were together for a year. I was thinking she could be the one. We broke up because she "wasn't sure about me." She was with another guy only a week later. I didn't understand, I was brought up in a different culture I guess. I was so crushed. I did a bunch of stupid things because of it. I left the country and went back to Russia for 7 months instead of going to college. I needed time to find myself.

Now I got accepted to a college for 2007, I came back, I got a job. Things started to look good. I got over the girl. My brother was still friends with her, but I didn't want to tell him to not see her. They became friends when we were dating, so I didn't feel it was right for me to break that up. However, a month after being back in the states I figured out that they are actually dating. I confronted my brother and he doesn't seem to understand what is the problem. He thinks I'm wrong for not understanding that he's in love. Also my parents knew, and 1. they didn't tell me anything and 2. they are ok with it. I feel so wronged by everyone, the people closest to me. I feel betrayed by my closest family. I have a friend in Paris, and I just want to run away and start over, leave my life behind and start fresh. When I lost her i felt terrible, now I feel like I lost everything else what do I do? I can run and start over, or live here knowing all of this and go to college (I live at home and am supported by my family, and will live at home once im in college, so does my brother) I told my brother to either leave her, or I will leave the family. If he decides to chose her should I leave everything family, college, friends and all that, and start over? it seems like the only way

[babygurl250]

Wow! I do think what your brother/family has done is very unfair! Your brother should of consulted you about this before taking things any futher with this girl! Or your family should of atleast mentioned something to you.

 

Are you over her? or does seeing her again bring the feelings all back?

You say you are wanting to leave!! Well when you left the first time, did it help?

 

You can't runaway forever though!! You need to think about whether you are truly over this girl and if you decide you are you need to be extra strong and stand up tall and just go with it! Maybe you could go visit your friend to get around things...and then when you have decided what to do...either to stay there and try and make a go of it or whether to go back home and carry on with your life.

 

You never truly get over your first loves. There always there in the bottom of your heart. You may not love them but theres that little special place where all them memories are kept. I know i still have that place for my first love. Sometimes i think maybe i still love him, but then i dont think i do. Times have changed and people have moved on and we have to learn to live with it. It takes time but you will get there eventually!!

[Leon1]

Thanks for responding:

 

"Are you over her? or does seeing her again bring the feelings all back?"

 

I'm over her, in a way that I do not want to date her. I don't need her in my life. At the same time however, I don't want to see her, or hąave her as a friend. It was irritating me when my brother was friends with her. Now that I know they are more and friends, its just too much to take, on top of feeling betrayed by everyone.

 

"You say you are wanting to leave!! Well when you left the first time, did it help?"

 

The first time all I did was take some time off, I intended to come back home, I had no hard feeling for anyone in my own household, I just had to change my environment for a while. Now I feel like I need to go away, because of what has happened. I can't imagine staying at home if they continue dating, start getting more serious. I think that would drive me insane. I also feel betrayed by my parents for keeping me in the dark. I told my brother that I will forgive and try to forget, and rebuild our relations, IF he 100% stops having contact with her. If his choice is HER and not his own Brother, then I guess there is nothing to do but leave... how could i possibly stay inside a situation like that?