audrey Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 I've read many posts from girls in this forum and i got to the conclusion that we have much in common about feelings. today i couldnt hide my feelings anymore and i said my bf that im tired of saying goodbye everyday, after a short conversation by the phone. i know it was very bad taste but i couldnt shut my mounth any longer. he asked me why i said that and i told him maybe it's because i miss him too much. now i have a phrase he said " why you tell me this if i can't do anything about it for now" and that's resounding till now in my head. i know it was unfair from me. i admit he's right. there's no solution for this problem but going through a LDR for more than 2 years already and 2 more left to go is it right to feel depressed cause of distance and for all those short moments to be together after a long wait and then pass through the sadest goodbye in a airport and start again with the waiting and so on? all that stresses me out but at the end is for nothing cause as he said there's no solution... just to wait](*,) Link to comment
StarLily Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 What you feel is completely normal. I've been in a LDR since October. It's a lot shorter than yours, but I know how you feel! I hate those sad good byes at the airport. I always cry. Last time I left, my bf wiped my tears away and said "I can't wait until we don't have to do this anymore." and "I can't wait to see your smiling face at the airport next time you come." Next time he will be able to stay with me at the airport for awhile because I will have an afternoon flight. I almost don't want him to stay because I will be crying my eyes out in front of him and everyone else. I don't really have a suggestion for you, sorry. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone! If you love him and you feel like he really loves you back, stick to it. Link to comment
bk333 Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 I know how you feel... its hard and sometimes you just need to say what you have in your chest and in your heart... but guys ussually take thinks for granted like: "yeah it is obvious that i am gonna miss you" (my boy actually said that... isnt he silly?) but we girls NEED to hear stuff and say stuff... and express... thats just how we are... Link to comment
Aleadragonhawk Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 I think that for an LDR to be successful, you have to be able to discuss these feelings. It's a very hard thing to do, and you need the support and understanding of your SO to be able to deal with all of the stress and pain that the distance causes. It's a case of mutual support. Link to comment
RebeccaChow Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 I feel for you sweetie. I know there's no solution other than waiting too.. we must stay strong together and wait then. For love, its worth it. =)) Hugs hun. Link to comment
sooky Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 i know how hard this is for you audrey, it really really sucks. and there's so little advice that anyone can give to make it better. it really is a question of time (and visas. dammit) one little suggestion though, is trying not to say 'goodbye' as such, when you talk on the phone etc. changing the words to 'see you later' might have a positive effect and help you to relax - it wont take away the pain, but it's reminding you that you WILL see him later...perhaps not very soon...but you will. stay strong! xxxx Link to comment
desert_rose26 Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 ohh, hang in there! You know you can do it. Just create a mindset and momentum that works for you to pass through the time. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 You need to take a step back and do a balancing of the benefits and disadvantages. LDRs are not for everyone - for some, they are based far too much on fantasy because you lack the consistent in-person time with the person. Maybe there is a compromise - put things on hold until you can live in the same city and until then agree to see other people. I don't think the only reasonable choice is to hang in there because not all relationships work for everyone even if what is not working happens to be external - geography - rather than internal - feelings. Link to comment
audrey Posted April 8, 2007 Author Share Posted April 8, 2007 hi there, wow im so glad you're so quick to replay thanks very much for your advice! Sooky, you're right. it's a "see you later" cause we'll talk tomorrow again. but after a long time of relationship even telephone calls have become so cold. it's a "i can hear you but not see you! i can't feel you! and i dont know if you guys agree with me but i think it's very nice when you can have your loved one next to you to pamper him. i miss that soo much anyways as you say i have to make it. after that conversation yesterday with my bf im still feeling some guilty but thanks god it seems he understood me well. today he called me by surprise in the morning while i was sleeping. i love when he does it he said we'll talk about my feelings tonight.im not sure if it's worth it cause as i wrote i see no solution for this. but i do need lots of his support. thanks again girls... you're very nice Link to comment
sooky Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 hey sugar, dont feel guilty for talking about your feelings with him...he needs to know so he can comfort you! and he WILL comfort you as long as it doesnt become ALL you talk about - cos that just gets boring for the both of you! teehee... xxxx Link to comment
audrey Posted April 9, 2007 Author Share Posted April 9, 2007 we talked already. it wasnt so good. cause he got all wrong and i can't say things directly i think. he got a little moody and i know why. i was so negative for him that maybe he's thinking i'm giving up. but i told him that's no my point so i hope it was enough. i dont want him to think such thing. it's quite difficult to define so many feelings like these ones i have. maybe i'm not made for LDR i don't know really. the last thing i want is to finish the relationship. obviusly if im sad is cause i want to be close to him but itsnt possible. what a puzzle is this about LDR. or just immaturity from me Link to comment
RebeccaChow Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 I guess its the pain of being apart, hun. I'm sure you will pull through it together with him! =)) We can do it together girls!! Like how my boyfriend always say, its nice to be at home and have someone from accross the globe loving and thinking of you. You feel all warm inside! =)) Tee hee. And look at the same star in the sky together. Absense makes the heart grow fonder, doesn't it? Hugs sweetie. =)) Link to comment
bk333 Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 I guess its the pain of being apart, hun. I'm sure you will pull through it together with him! =)) We can do it together girls!! Like how my boyfriend always say, its nice to be at home and have someone from accross the globe loving and thinking of you. You feel all warm inside! =)) Tee hee. And look at the same star in the sky together. Absense makes the heart grow fonder, doesn't it? Hugs sweetie. =)) YOU MADE ME CRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It feels really good to know that i am not alone in this awful situation... Love is hard so we all have to be strong... kisses to everyone! Link to comment
audrey Posted April 9, 2007 Author Share Posted April 9, 2007 thanks a lot Rebecca yes today it's a new day and i've taken a decision already. i'll bear the pain for the relationship. as long as he's there for me i know i'll make it even it won't be easy. there are hopes so they will make me faithful till the end. i know i'll need lots of strenght and i know i have it already, my boyfriend, my mom, my best friend and of course all of you guys. we can take courage from eachother here thanks Link to comment
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