did I do the right thing

[heartbroken23]

OK heres the deal. My girlfriend of 4 yrs broke up with me about two weeks ago because she felt a connection to another kid and couldnt be with me when she had those thoughts.(infatuation). We are both 23. We decided no contact, and I told her to come to me when he is fully committed to me and figures things out. Latley she has been instant messaging me saying HI, and other little things. I acted like I didnt want to talk to her and she understood why. yesterday she messages me asking if we should hang out. I said no. She said are u sure. I said yes, citing my reasons that it is not fair to me when I want more than she is giving me. I said I am letting go and trying to move on, and when she is ready to love me like I love her, call me. She acted kind mad...i could tell by how she was writing. she wrote FINE. I did what was fair to me, but did I push her away?? The last time she broke up with me, she did the same thing...asking to hang out, and I did, but that really didnt solve anything because she couldnt figure things out if I was in the picture. It is like she wants her cake and wants to eat it. I hope I didnt ruin any chances of her coming back later on, or was she just starting to miss me...what do u think?

[pimpcess]

Hey heartbroken23,

 

This must be hard for you, she broke up with you after 4 years for someone else? Do u know if anything has progressed with them two?

 

I would really advise that you need to spend some time apart and work out what you want, you can't do that fully seeing eachother. It seems like she's very unsure in what she wants.

 

I think she needs to understand how you feel. You need to talk to her nicely. Just give it time, let her see if she misses you with time apart, and even if you miss her. Give some time for yourself and make sure she does the same.

 

Good luck

[Princess777]

Heartbroken,

 

You DID the right thing!!!! Now the ball is in her court, and you will not subject yourself to letting her throw your heart in a blender again. Good for you!!!! Keep up the strong attitude. She knows you love her because you told her what kind of relationship you want. There's no doubt about that. She just has to make a decision now. Go on with your life and don't worry about her any more.....Way to go. That took guts and a lot of emotional willpower. You should be proud.

 

Princess777

[charmed]

Hi THere Hreatbroken,

 

If I was you, I would be closing the door on this girl right now. She is looking to haved her cake and eat it, and when you give her a sign that you are trying to move on, she goes nuts !

 

You need to move on like you are doing, and you need to stick by your plan to get over her. I will say, it sounds like you are somewhat still interested in making contact with her, and by the sounds of it you are going to have to break that contact - she knows you are trying to recover, and is trying to prevent that for you.

 

Let her know the situation, and let her know that you will not be responding to contact from her fhr the foreseeable future. She might throw something at you, but ignore it - and most of all, don't be living like you are going to get back together. If that is going to happen, it will happen, but give yourself the chance to get properly out of this relationship before you make that decision to get back in!

 

Hope this helps you some,

 

~

[lunatic]

Heartbroken,

 

I am also going through a breakup after a four year relationship. I feel your pain because she has twin four year old girls that are six years old. I love the kids and her but, we weren't meant for each other. I'm sorry about my babbling on about me but it does have a point. I realized that after we broke up that I was heartbroken and that my life was shot to hell. I also thought about how she left and I think that if you are not happy and she left you for soemone else then tell her to leave you alone. You have to do what is right for you. I mean she left you for another person and that in itself is wrong. You are only in your early twenties and you need to live life more before you settle down with one woman. Hook up with your friends and go out. You will be surprised on how many single women are out there and how they will want you to be around. Not just a filler in between her next crush. I guess what I am saying is you should move on and let her go. Get rid of her because she WILL do it again to you in the future and it will hurt even more. The reason I am telling you this is because I am going through it now and I am kicking myself in the butt because I didn't leave when she first pulled something like this.

 

Good luck and remember that you are not alone out there with a broken heart. A lot of us out here feel your pain as well as our own.

 

Take care of YOU because that is really what is important.

 

-Hubman01