Unexplainable Jealousy

[AXYSSALLY]

I am a newly wed. I have never been a jealous person but I find now that Im married I have this unexplainable feeling....I dont mean that Im jealous if my husband speaks to another woman or anything...its jealousy over his past. Im finding myself angry or jealous, not even sure which one..a combination of the two i guess...over past relationships he had. He does not harbor feelings for ex's...doesnt keep in touch with any of them . I trust him completely and have no self esteem issues or doubt in my marriage. I know I am completely and utterly loved and had my own past relationships. But I find myself extremely curious about his past. My husband is very open with me about his ex's and what their relationships were like., as I am with him about my past. He doesnt even have a particularly racy past. So why am I feeling this way? Why am i so resentful of him being with these women before me? If he hadnt been with them he wouldnt be who he is now. I just cant help feeling this way. Has anyone else ever felt this way?

[Princess777]

Hello,

 

I have felt this way before too about my current husband. It IS a strange feeling because even though he shows me no indication whatsoever of wanting any of them back, (as a matter of fact, he absolutely can't stand any of them) I know that they all were in love with HIM and I guess that is the threat I see...... that he is capable of being loved by other women and there is proof of that. Although he was never married before me and he and everyone who knows him confirms that he has never been in love before me, (a great plus for me!) he lived with some other girls and I admit that bothers me. I think for women like us, it's the thought that even though we are married, with all the cheating and internet relationships and what-not out there, we just want to hold on to what we've got. I also think that jealousy over our husband's pasts indicates that we want to ensure that we are now his number one, and will remain so. We don't want anyone to ever take that away from us. Does that sound familiar to you? Join the club with me, dear!!!!

Princess777

[Nifty_Swifty1]

I defiantly understand those feeling. Every time he was with someone else he gave them a part of himself that he can't give you. I think you're probably a lot like me. You want to give everything you have to him, and you want the same back and the parts of him that he can't give you are the ones you want the most. I can't help you get over those feeling because I don't think you can. You have to except things the way they are because life isn't perfect. I sorry I can't do anything but tell you your not alown.

[AXYSSALLY]

thanks nifty..glad to know im not alone and i think you said it perfectly....about him having given parts of himself to others. i was having a hard time defining what i was feeling or why because im not really sure its actual jealousy...it sort of is but not completely. most women arent going to have favorable feelings towards their husbands ex's but from what he has told me, as well as what his family has said, i know these women were lousy to him and totally unworthy of what ever attention he gave them. Maybe i wouldnt feel as strongly about it if I knew that even one of them was a normal person who treated him well. oh well, like you said, theres nothing that can be done....the feelings have been fading over the months we have been married and hopefuly they will eventually disapear all together

[AXYSSALLY]

hey princess...no sooner did i reply to the previous post when i saw yours. your also right..it is about making sure your his only love...i do trust my husband....he has proven himselft trustworthy but i have to admit, like you said, with all the cheating and internet stuff you see and hear about, its hard. theres always the stereotype about men being dogs in the back of the mind and i think that when your married, especially newly married, and you know that there are other women who would be and have been attracted to your man, you are sometimes trusting because you have to. Im glad to know Im not the only women to feel this way because i feel guilty about it and i guess i know its not really rational but emotions dont always make sense i guess.