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sex life = overrated.


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Ok guys I need advice!! I know how well you guys give it so here we go. Long story short my bf and I have been together 3 years. And we have no sex life. He loves sex I hate it. I'm pushing him away because I don't like it. I've tried to think about why I dislike it so much and the only thing i can think of is...I think of it as just what it is ... Sex thats all i think it means to him it's not "making love" or being intimate it's just sex.


I guess the point of this and what I'm asking is...How can I make it more enjoyable so I will want to have sex with him? Any ideas on how to make spice it up some...just looking for new ideas...we are both getting old of what we don't have.


HELP haha Thanks

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He's an animal. We all are. A small part of it is about 'making love', but mostly it's just an animalistic need to get off. Kinda like when you eat - you do it partially for enjoyment, but mostly because of this underlying need to consume. There's nothing wrong with that.


To enjoy it more, try instigating. Don't wait for him to come begging.

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Did you enjoy having sex with him before he cheated on you?

Did he tell you it was "just sex and didn't mean anything" when he owned up to cheating on you?


Are you sure that "no sex life" is the biggest problem here?

Are you sure that "trying to keep things separate" is a good basis for a relationship?


In my opinion "trust" is a very good basis for a relationship.

I don't mean to say people can't make mistakes or can't be forgiven for them. But if you find you have to keep sex and emotions separate (because you are afraid to get hurt again?). You are also missing out on a very good part of a relationship.


I find sex and the intimacy that goes along with it a very forfilling part of my relationship. And I would not want to be in a relationship where I had the feeling one of us was holding back because they were afraid to get hurt.


If you love him, want to be with him and feel this "trust-issue" can be solved, counceling might not be such a bad idea…

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