Help

[gwen89]

How can someone be completely nice and have a perfectly regular conversation with you 2 weeks before a breakup? And then ignore you completely after. It's almost like a Jekyll and Hyde act. Does it mean that the person had it all planned out..like timing and everything beforehand? Am sitting here in shock, sadness and pain. Please help.

[numbhead]

LOL did your ex tell you that they loved you and wanted to marry you 4 days before they did a runner?

 

dont read too deeply into it... it did and it got me know where!

 

they are building up the curage to tell for a gd few weeks if not months (if a long term rel) subconsciously!

 

its been over 3 months for me now, what can i say.....

 

they probably were plucking up the curage and questioning themselves at the same time!

 

take it easy on yourself....

[Wandering_Sword]

I agree with numbhead. They placate you with words of love and the future and BAM! They cold * * * * you with an emotional sledgehammer and left wondering all sorts of stuff. Try not to overanalyze, pick up the pieces as best you can and move on with your life. We are here for you. Be it a sympathetic ear or advice, we are here for you. You are not alone

[macgyver4ever]

I felt the same way when this happened to me.

 

A week before we broke up my ex was telling how much she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me, and was talking about our future kids and how the TV she had just bought was OUR TV. That feeling didn't last long.

 

Then she did the same thing after I ended things with her. She called me after 6 days of NC saying how much she loved me and wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. The NEXT DAY she told me she still felt that way, but still wanted to spend the weekend with this boy she had been seeing.

 

People can be mean and selfish, especially when adding the pain and confusion of a break-up.

[gwen89]

Thanks guys! Well I guess I am extremely sad cos' we were supposed to be together again after I had been away for a 6 month training stint. And he dropped the bombshell 3 weeks before I was due to come back! So I actually feel really depressed now that I'm back home and everything seems so different, quiet and lonely without him. His reasons were because he thought I was selfish and self centred cos' I didn't contribute enough financially to the relationship as both of us earn quite a bit so he thought we should contribute according to our resources. But I am darn sure I have been and even more than that. He also admitted that he has commitment phobia. Ok..this might change your perpective. He is 20 years older than me and has been divorced once (his marriage only lasted one day!) and since then has not been in any really long-term serious relationship.

[Wandering_Sword]

Sounds like a whole lot of excuses to me. If he's not going to be around for you, then you're better off without him. Leave him be and focus on yourself now. You are what is most important, so treat yourself accordingly.

[ruby19]

I don't know how they do it either, make all these long term sounding plans and tell you they love you and then drop the bomb. Some kind of heart defect (i.e. they don't have one) I suspect. Just so selfish and so self-absorbed.

 

Take care of yourself, and know you are the better person because of your sincerity. They'll get theirs.