Dealing with loss, moving on & rejection ?

[4answers]

I am well into no contact with my ex. As far as I know she is with another, dont know for sure, but no point in trying to find out as this is irrelevent !

 

Trouble is i want to forget her, live a happy life without her in my thoughts. But that is not happening.

 

I know that i need to replace her with something or someone of higher value so that her value to me will diminish and I will then not think of her. As i will have moved on emotionaly.

 

But how do i do this. I cannot force myself to stop thinking about her, If i suffer rejection from another then this leads to value reversal for her !

 

So stay single and miss her, because there is something of high value missing in my life or aproach others, suffer rejection which makes me feel low and I miss her more.

 

Being single is definatly easier for women as they are aproached by the opposite sex, so they do not suffer from the loss of emotional interest as much as guys do. Guys have to do the approach and face damaging rejection which makes us feel worse and want what we had that made us feel good. ie the positive emotional interest of the ex !

 

Any suggestion ?

[GQstatus]

I suggest not being so hard on yourself bro!

 

Being single can be a lot of fun if you take advantage of it. If you're into the club/bar scene, go out once or twice a week, socialize. Get yourself a wingman if you're shy and have a hard time approaching women. BE confident. Women are drawn to confidence like magnets.

 

Believe me, I know how bad it sucks to feel like you'll "never feel like that again", but you will. If you've had past relationships before this girl, think back to then, when things ended. You more than likely went through the same type of feelings.

 

"I'll never be happy again"

"I'll never find another girl like her"

"I'm going to be single forever"

 

Then, you found someone else, and it replaced the thoughts of the last ex. Things ALWAYS work themselves out.

[violingirl]

I'm not sure if you want a woman's opinion here, but I can tell you that I feel the same way. It hasn't been easier for me just because I'm a woman. I have never been approached by droves of men and I have faced a lot of rejection in dating since my breakup 2 years ago. And, yes, rejection only makes me miss him more. So, like you, I'm single but still missing my ex.

[finewhine]

I know that i need to replace her with something or someone of higher value so that her value to me will diminish and I will then not think of her. As i will have moved on emotionaly.

 

But how do i do this. I cannot force myself to stop thinking about her, If i suffer rejection from another then this leads to value reversal for her !

 

You can never replace anyone. Better said, you can't move on by replacing someone with somebody else.

 

The only way to move on is to find those qualities that the other person has and fulfill them YOURSELF. With friends, with hobbies, with intellectual pursuits - whatever. This will make you whole. More importantly, it will make you way stronger and better as a person so that when you meet someone new, you won't be filling a void but augmenting your life.

 

See?

[This is Horrible]

4answers-

 

love yourself first and everything will fall into place.

 

you already have the happiness inside of you, you just need to find it....after that, no worries buddy.