Why NC is not allways a good thing

[The Mask]

Hey all

 

I've been a member on this board for quite some time and thought to myself "I guess it's time for me to get useful for a change!"

 

So the way I see it,NC is not allways good for some kind of people while it is a good thing for others(obviosly!),and here's why:

 

 

9'th grade

When I sat there, in the classroom, I was starring at a girl, sitting in front of me.

She was a so called "best friend" of mine.

I starred at her for quite some time, at her silky hair, and wanted her to be mine.But she havent noticed my love for her, and I knew that. After class, she came to me and asked for my papers with homework so that she can copy them. I gave them to her.

She said "thank you", and kissed me on the cheek.

I wanted to tell her that I no longer wish to stay 'just friends' with her.

I love her, but i'm too shy, and I don't know why.

 

 

10'th grade

My phone rang, on the other side - it was she.

She is crying, she tells me that her boyfriend broke her heart. She asks me to come over, because she doesn't want to be alone that night, and I came. When I sat on the couch,next to her, I was looking on her beautiful eyes, wishing, she would be mine. After 2 hours of watching a movie and 3 bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thank you" and kissed me on the cheek.

I wanted to tell her that I no longer wish to stay 'just friends' with her.

I love her, but i'm too shy, and I don't know why.

 

 

Prom

A day went by,then a week, then a month. In a blink of an eye it was allready prom. I watched, as her perfect body, similar to an angel, flew towards the stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine so badly. But she havent noticed my love for her, and I knew that. Before everybody went home, she came to me in her beautiful dress and started crying when I huged her. Then she put her head on my shoulder saying "You're my best friend in the whole world,thank you", and kissed me on the cheek.

I wanted to tell her that I no longer wish to stay 'just friends' with her.

I love her, but i'm too shy, and I don't know why.

 

 

A few years later

Now I sit here in a church. That girl is getting maried. I just saw her saying "I do" and entered her new life with another man.

I wanted her to be mine. But she havent noticed my love for her, and I knew that.

But before she left she came to me, and sayed - "You came!!!Thank you!!" and kissed me on the cheek.

I wanted to tell her that I no longer wish to stay 'just friends' with her.

I love her, but i'm too shy, and I don't know why.

 

 

Funeral

Years passed by. I looked at the cofin beneath me, in it was that girl, who has allways been my best friend. They were reading her diary, that she had at school years.

And here's what she wrote:

I looked at him, wishing, he would be mine, but he doesnt notice my love for him, and I know that.

I wanted to tell him that I no longer wish to stay 'just friends' with him.

I love him, but I'm too shy, and I don't know why.

I wanted so badly for him to say, that he loves me!!!

 

For hapiness one of them should have said only 3 words...

 

 

 

Just a little food for thought..Think about it..

 

 

Ps. Sorry for my poor english..

[Massari]

damn I have hread this story before.. and everytime I read it it makes me cry! NC is the way to go for breakups, but NOT when you want to approach someone and you are just shy to do so.

[samross]

Great post! Your words speak loud and clear to me. I decided a long time ago to tell people exactly how I feel about them when it comes to affairs of the heart. I know too painfully well someone slipping through my hands and not telling them how I felt. Some may keep their feeling to themselves because they're afraid of getting hurt but I've been hurt plenty of times.... but I've survived and I wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's. And I would probably do it all again the same way if I had the chance except there are a few people in my life that I would have reached out to that I didn't when I should have. I lost a neice when she was 11 and everyone in our family can think of something they might have said or done but didn't know they she would only be with us a short while. IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE TELL THEM.

[The Mask]

As I mentioned erlier "food for thought", I mean what about the kind of situations when you are on NC and you have no idea of what they are thinking about?Maybe they are just like you "if he\she really wants me,he\she will call" So is NC worth it? I mean the long NC's out there like mine...almost a year of total NC,I have absolutley no idea what shes been up to..I still cant get over her..Recently though I'm thinking about her constantly..I can literaly feel my heart beat so damn hard!

It hurt alot..

But I can't tell her that I love her..Because I'm just to proud..My ego is higher than the sun itself..

 

 

BTW I noticed that you're Russian looking at your avatar too

Kak tam v Kanade?Ya tozhe dumau tuda uehat'..

[Massari]

As I mentioned erlier "food for thought", I mean what about the kind of situations when you are on NC and you have no idea of what they are thinking about?Maybe they are just like you "if he\she really wants me,he\she will call" So is NC worth it? I mean the long NC's out there like mine...almost a year of total NC,I have absolutley no idea what shes been up to..I still cant get over her..Recently though I'm thinking about her constantly..I can literaly feel my heart beat so damn hard!

It hurt alot..

But I can't tell her that I love her..Because I'm just to proud..My ego is higher than the sun itself..

 

 

BTW I noticed that you're Russian looking at your avatar too

Kak tam v Kanade?Ya tozhe dumau tuda uehat'..

 

hey.. no I am not persian.. but I like russian language and have quit a few friends.. I am actually persian

[The Mask]

Whoops,sorry...It's just your avatar is in Russian, It says "I love you" which you probably know thats in Russian

 

"no I am not persian...I am actually persian

So are you Persian or not lol?

[Massari]

Whoops,sorry...It's just your avatar is in Russian, It says "I love you" which you probably know thats in Russian

 

"no I am not persian...I am actually persian

So are you Persian or not lol?

 

 

hahaha oops!! I ment I am not russian!! I am actually persian! haha yeah.. I can kinda pronounce it too!! ya tibia lublu! if thats correct!

[The Mask]

Veeery good

 

Only that on your avatar it says ya lublu tibia but it's the same

[settinuplife]

This story seems to be about what happens when you are someone's backup or fallback guy, if you don't do NC!! Of course this post isn't about two ex's it is about two who have always had thing for each other but never told the other. So yeah if you like someone you should always tell them eventually or you will regret, with ex's though they always know especially if they broke up with you then you should still play the NC game or you WILL be turned into a doormat.

 

What troubles me though is sometimes I want to write my ex and just spill everything because one day she'll die and I will be glad I told her how I felt. Of course she knew how I felt about her when we broke up. Maybe you'll just have to chance it and write her years later and express and just leave it at that.

[devast]

hey guys.... This is what is exactly I am trying to figure out... I know I have an ego issues... I am quite proud inside my head.... My ex who I just had a break-up with is even prouder...

 

Thats the same problem I am thinking what if I miss all the chances of getting us back together because we are actually trying to do NC on each other and see who would break first...

 

I love her.... She's actually calling right now and I am not answering... Too hard coz I am thinking maybe this is it... She's going to plead to me and ask me to come back...But then maybe not... She maybe just want to make sure I haven't killed myself so she wouldn't feel guilty..

 

AAAAHHHH.. this is crazy... NC NC NC... Yes Id like to heal myself.. But I want her back... What if I miss the chance... Whewwwww!!!! [sigh sigh sigh]

[splashdown]

Bah. If your ex- really desperately wants you back, she'll find a way to get in touch. A couple of phone calls is not someone desperately wanting to get you back. That's someone who wants to make sure you're still pining for HER.

 

Even if she pleads for you to come back, would you? It takes no effort for her to say she wants you back, change her mind again and then your right back into heartbroken again. Actions speak louder than words, my friend...

[shadow34]

First of all of *bonk* on the head to Dev and he knows why hehe!!!

 

Secondly, while this is an immensley exaggerated story, of course it happens sometimes in life, not usually with break ups.

 

I know the rule of NC, but my personal view is, If you have things left unsaid, If you feel you have to tell them something then do it. One letter isnt going to kill them and if it does well atleast you said all you needed to say...

 

However dont call them or text them, because when you try and get the words out...hands up if they have ever come out the way you want them too *DING*...never....

 

So NC is about healing yes and it can help resolve issues where time apart is needed or other influences or factors contributing to the breakdown of the relationship..but it is not set in stone...

 

So if you left on a bad note, or you never told them you loved them, write them a letter, say all you need to say then thats it. You have done your part and god willing it doesnt happen that something like this would happen.

 

Hugs

[papalazarou]

Sound advice.

 

I advocate NC...but certainly after you have told them how you feel...