Grr! I was doing well till ex posted a birthday message on myspace.

[celene]

You guys might have read my messages before. Anyways, I havent spoken to ex in nearly two months. We broke up last august and since then maintained LC, then went back to where he lives, we hooked up, the feelings started to re-surface for me.Went into depression and decided to seek a therapist. Anyways, I was doing quite well not having any kind of contact with him except for a txt I sent him a couple of weeks ago to which he replied back, till he left a myspace message for me saying "happy birthday, hope you have something big planned out for today!" EEkksss, why do they do that??? I know he is probobaly trying to be nice since since january we've been friends in theory( since we havent spoken to each other at all!!) but it was just hard seeing his message for me!!!!

[Zaphod]

Boy this myspace weird stuff sure does cause a lot of grief doesn't it. Does anyone on here NOT have a pointless myspace account (apart from me?)?

 

The days of email, text messages, and myspace accounts - only lead to relationships becoming more complicated.

 

Sorry I don't have any advice, I'm just being a grumpy old git.

[Zaphod]

I know he is probobaly trying to be nice

 

Why don't you in that case give him the benefit of the doubt and put it down to thoughtlessness?

You can always put him on ignore (or whatever) on the myspace thing, or take him off the friends list, or simply ask him not to leave messages.

 

Sounds like thoughtlessness to me, to be honest. Forgivabla I suppose.

You could probably pull yourself a more thoughtful bloke though ;0

[celene]

Hey Zaphod. This is what this message board is for . I was wining too, so no worries!!

[in_love]

Boy this myspace weird stuff sure does cause a lot of grief doesn't it. Does anyone on here NOT have a pointless myspace account (apart from me?)?

 

erm... me!

 

haha

[lightlight]

Boy this myspace weird stuff sure does cause a lot of grief doesn't it. Does anyone on here NOT have a pointless myspace account (apart from me?)?

 

The days of email, text messages, and myspace accounts - only lead to relationships becoming more complicated.

 

Sorry I don't have any advice, I'm just being a grumpy old git.

 

Hey Zaphod I agree. Where I am it is bebo that is the problem - especially as you can have someone as 'your other half'. When it all goes wrong and the 'other half' is removed it is just so public! My 'neverwas' (thanks rosie- I stole your phrase - perfect for my situation) was checking out my bebo page even though he wasn't on it himself...I just made it private as I don't see why he should get an insight into my life when I know nothing about his. He made his choice...he doesn't get his cake and eat it.

 

My advice would be to remove any exes from these sites to avoid the temptation of visiting their site. Last thing you need when doing NC is the temptation of having their life and comments right there.

[cocogirl]

hey,

i know exactly how you feel when an x messages you or comments on xanga, myspace, facebook, and whatever other internet network program is out there.

 

i think the best thing to do is reply back with a happy & confident, "thank you!!"

keep it short & sweet, with no disclosure of details of your birthday event.

 

do NOT ever be the one to contact him first.

he should always be the one reaching out.

if YOU contact HIM first, such as calling him, texting, myspacing, emailing, etc., you will never have the upperhand.

 

i truly recommend reading brian caniglia's ebook called, "how to get back your ex". perhaps your intentions are not to get your ex back, but in that easy read of an ebook, the author briefly describes the "push-pull" theory.

this theory is also mentioned in a chapter in another book called, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" - but that author called it as 'men are like rubberbands'.

 

the less you give, the more you will get from your ex.

 

hang in there! you'll be fine. always remember that you are valuable and worthy of a wonderful man and wonderful relationship!

[BlackCat]

MySpace and other sites can make it so hard! They make me turn into a stalker!

 

I hope you were able to have a good birthday anyway!

[celene]

Hey thanks blck cat! Yeah I became a bit of a stalker myself and I know what you mean, I am working on it with my counsellor.

[Zaphod]

Anyone here NOT stalk people on the internet from time to time?

 

The way I look at it is this - stalking is spying on someone's private life. Anything you put on the internet is NOT and I repeat NOT private - unless you password protect it etc.

 

If you check up on ex's, people you know etc. on the internet and are generally nosy about them, it is NOT stalking. You have a perfect legal and moral right to do so, seeing as they put their information up in public in the first place.

 

You are not a stalker if you check up on people, you're just a bit nosy. More fool them for putting the info up in the first place.

 

Whether this is good for your mental health though in recovering from a break up - well that's a different story.