how long should i wait?

[hesamarriedman]

After 6.5 years of marriage, and 3.5 children later(i was 4 months pregnent at the time) , my husband decided to walk out on us. he told me he didn't love me and it would never work. He was the assistant pastor of a church. because we were in their house i moved, 80 miles away. i wished i wouldn't have because i get the blame for leaving him, of all things.

to make a very long story short, he is now living wih a woman and her 3 children, which are his top priority. If my girls ever saw their daddy... father during the past 9 months, its been because of me taking them to see him. he hasn't paid child support either.

how long should i wait, hoping he will come back to God and us. i still love him, but i don't know if i will ever be able to forgive him for hurting us so deeply.

iam thimking about filing for divorce the first week in jan, but am kind a leary about it. any suggestions or advise?

[Mischivo]

Wow wow!

He's living with another women even though you're still married. What are you waiting for?! He's obviously forgotten about you guys. File for divorce, get half of what he has, and force him to pay his child support.

 

There is nothing more annoying then women who are so madly in love that they can't see anything but. He doesn't love you, plane and simple. I know the feeling inside you won't go away, yet you must push him away to feel any better.

[hesamarriedman]

I don't know if it is because I am MADLY in love with him still, but 90% of the reason I want it to work, is because I want my girls to have a daddy. I'm sure you can understand this.

[Jaysee]

I don't know if it is because I am MADLY in love with him still, but 90% of the reason I want it to work, is because I want my girls to have a daddy. I'm sure you can understand this.

 

ohhhhh!!!!! I can understand this one!!! I still love my husband, yes, but I also want my boys to have their father and to be a family.. I am a child of divorce I never wanted that for my kids... I thought my husband didn't want that either... best of luck to you!

[Unicorn]

My 2nd husband walked out after 2½ years 1 child and along with my oldest from my 1st marriage. I didn't know exactly where he was living, no phone number to reach him, etc. He didn't tell me that he didn't love me. He told me we could try to work things out. I tried, at one point he even came back after saying that he wanted to reconcile. I even gave up over $3,000 in child support arrearages...because I still loved him. A few weeks later he wanted out and that's when I wised up. I don't believe that he ever loved me...don't care anymore...but I love my babies.

 

Not exactly the same situation...but I have this firm belief that if you allow people to play with you and controll you they get a kick out of it and see how far they can push you.

 

Well...he only got to push me for 6 months. Now he's alone...no longer with the thing he left me for (it seems that they can't stand each other any more) and I'm starting over with someone that I've known for years and should have married in the first place.

 

You have to think about you and your children...and if he's not interested then you have to take the next step. I've heard that abandonment is a nice term for it.