I'm hung up on her past

[Doctor Smurf]

Hi! I'm with a great girl, but for some reason I can't ever quite forget her past partners. She does make some references to them, and although I'm sure she's mine, I still feel more, well, jealous than I know is reasonable. We did start out as an affair - I don't wonder if its some kind of apparent guilt toward that - but it doesn't feel like guilt, more of something I've got against me - whenever we're being romantic or intimate together, a thought of an ex pops into my head and puts me right out of the mood.

 

Any ideas to detach myself from a past that isn't mine, and enjoy the moment?

 

Cheers!

[isisastaria]

I think that's pretty normal. It's an empty concern. Is it about some insecurities you have in yourself? Is there a way you would work on those and focus on that rather than past partners? I can tell you that for myself...I do not even remember my past partners. I do not remember details or even really care to. My main focus is my fiancee. He is all I see now.

[musicguy]

the past is the past, the past is over, she's with you at the present time. Also tell her that you don't want her referencing her ex's.

[peteypie]

all i can say to you is get over this problem , i felt exactly the same way you do and it destroyed me and our relationship. I thought about this all day everyday for 2 years. If this person is with you ask yourself why they want to be. I was permananently on this subject with my ex and relaised one day i couldnot do it no more as i was pushing her away.PLEASE SEE THIS IS WHAT YOUR GOING TO DO BY DWELLING ON IT. my advice would be to understand why she wants to be with you and relish the fact you make her happy.