Where im at

[mease87]

Hey everyone, its been a few since i posted anything on here, like 5 days or so, not sure what im posting but know it will help. right now im at a stage where im more accepting of what has happen (been about a month since the break up) Im starting to be myself agian at some points in the day, making jokes and making others laugh, convincing myself that this is for the best. But still have hard times through the day to, get really sad and think about her. Wonder if shes forgeting me, or thinks about me. ive been looking at her away messages agian and know thats bad, and its not helping me any. all her away messages are still all happy and such making me feel like shes 10 times happier without me. So far ive changed my screen name and blocked her from myspace. time to time ill go on my old screen name hoping she will say hi or somthing, but it probly still to soon. i still wonder what shes thinking about all the time and if she thinks about the good times we had, probly too soo for that too. still feel like i need more closure, cause the last thing she said to me in a text was "please stop calling me, i need to move on and so do you" and i can assume the reasons why she broke up with me, and have a good idea, but she never really said them out of her mouth, the only thing she said was " im not happy anymore" it might be another guy she met at college , or she wants to be free and not feel tied down, or it was our distance apart. Idk.. but i still want to hear what she has to say about that. But i know once i do talk to her agian , its not good to talk about the reasltionship, just hi how are you ect......

Half the day im so scared she will never talk to me agian.

and the other half im strong and confident telling myself " if she really wanted me in her life she would contact me , if not its her loss and we werent meant to be"

 

So thats where im at as of a month apart and 2 and 1/2 weeks of NC.

Trying so hard to do NC.... want to contact her in a few months. and then agian i dont want to contact her until she contact me. anyway thanks for listening, have to type to keep myself somewhat happy

 

What i hate the most, is that she hasnt even contacted me at all, making me feel like nothing. and i know she knows im a good person. i just dont get it

[isisastaria]

Oh, come on! She's JUST as upset as you are!

 

Girls usually take it worse and it lasts longer than guys. I garuantee she is upset and cares A LOT

[mease87]

But how can you know somthing like that? how come she doesnt want to contact me , and how come her away messages are all happy, even ones that shouldnt be happy are with big smiley faces. I just honestly feel like she never wants to talk to me agian because it will be convient for her. I mean what if she did leave me for another guy. still think shes just as upset? i dont really think she would be, i just want her to talk to me as a friend one day. i have accepted that we probly wont be together agian. but i still dont think she will ever contact me unless i contact her

 

 

I mean she deleted me as a "FRIEND" on facebook a few days after and makes it look like she wants nothing to do with me ever agian. if she wanted me in her life she would at least try.

[mease87]

Sry, its just one of my hard days. SO much i want to understand but know i wont ever be able to fully

[mease87]

thank you for the replies..... The biggest thing i have to do is stop looking at her away messages, they are really puttting me back and making me feel worse. like the one thing morning that i read says. " sleeping...sorta "

 

NOw that just got me in the worse mood ever, what am i saposed to think about that. makes it seem like shes with a guy. all of her away messages this week and before are all so happy. why is she so happy. im sure i meant somthing to her.

[rusloi]

fair dos mate, we all feel ur pain....it is hard man so at least your not alone, i've not spoke to my ex bird for about 2 weeks now and it is hard but i remember i was like this with my last woman and prob will be again if it happens. It is cack but u gotta hang on there - and yes she is hurting as much as you; just think about anytime you have done something and want to tell her about it - she is no doubt feeling the same. Take it easy man

[mease87]

i know im moving on, and doing so at a steady rate. But i still feel like need alittle more closure......

i need to hear from her why she did it. i mean i can assume and probly guess most of the reasons. But i still dont know if she did leave me for another guy or what