should I go for it?

[ellie18]

Ive known this guy for a loong time and Ive always had a little girl crush on him even though he's kind of a strange guy. But Ive always been too shy to talk to him! But lately we've been talking a lot and we have this weird conncetion because our exs both dumped us and went out with eachother. We've been venting our frusterations to eachother and it's nice that he's someone who understands me right now because were going through the same thing! I hung out with him last weekend but at a party with other friends and I sat with him all night and kind of layed on him in a cute way to sort of show hiom I'm into him. But he didn't really do anything back... blah. I think were hanging out tomorrow night with more friends again but I just don't know what to do because I don't want to be rejected. I have fun talking to him about a lot of things maybe I'm goign to fast? My friends say to go for it but he's just so socially awkward and I don't want to be pushy. I've never been a relationship sort of girl I've only had one really bad long serious relationship and lmy last boyfriend I met when I was drunk and hooked up with him and he asked me out. But I know thats a no-no...haha I don't know why guys never show interest for me like him I'm really pretty and I'm really friendly and easy to get along with But since my break-up with my ex I've become really confident. Maybe I should just ask him if he wants to hangout? I've never really picked up a guy haha but I just want to chill with him he's a nice guy.. help guys!!

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

Ok i think you said it yourself, maybe your moving to fast... I don't know the situaiton that well so i can't say but maybe just hang out with him as mates a bit more. Give him a bit of time. And if your still into him then go for it. The worst thing that will happen is that he'll say no... You'll hurt and cry and wonder why but in the end you'll move on and find some other great guy

 

I wish you all the luck with him though and honestly if you like him go for it.

[LiL_MiSs_NeY]

Guys can be rather oblivious to the fact when a girl makes a move because they dont always have the easiest time telling whether we are into them or not. if this guy is socially awkward like you said maybe he is too shy to make a move? if thats the case i think maybe you should be the one to make the move as i usually strongly believe in these two sayings:

 

*a person who says something is a fool for five minutes but a person who doesn't is a fool forever

 

*it's better to regret the things you do then to regret the things you don't do

 

 

 

 

either way whatever it is that you decide to do, good luck with it

[PennyLane]

OKay Ellie,

 

I know that type of guy that you are talking about. NO, I don't suggest just going for it. Just suddenly 'going for it' might be too jarring for him and he might not know how to respond accordingly. Which will only throw YOU off even more. Or it might not. You CAN just TRY and see what happens. But I have a better solution:

 

 

Slowly let IT develop. Wait. Correction. Slowly MAKE it develop.

 

What do I mean? You are going to lead the relationship in such a way that things "just" happened. Slowly walk him into it. First off, You are doing all right things. By laying on his lap all cute like. Another words by being Playful. Good start, but the trick here is to slowly escalate things. Here is how:

 

 

 

link removed PLAYFUL

Initiate it by: you just being the playful fun person that you are.

Poke him. Grab him. Push him. Tickle him. Get him used to you touching him. More importantly, try to get him to push you or poke you back. It's physical flirting. Its playful, its innocent. If he is receptive move on.

 

2. BE INTIMATELY PLAYFUL

Initiated by: You just being playful, but now getting a bit more carried away.

Bring it up a notch by making this physical play a bit more intimate. But it is still you being playful. So there's no reason for akwardness. Hug him from behind, but then break the intimacy by trying to tickle him. Grab his face with two hands by his cheeks and stare at him with a smile, then break the intimacy by pretending to bite his nose off. You get the idea right? Make a intimate gesture, THEN break the tension by doing somthing silly and playful.

If he is receptive move on.

 

3. BE INTIMATE

Intiated by: Having gotten TOO carried away...you pull her in with an 'accepting/apologetic' manner. Such as, "Aw, Im sorry.. come here." Hold him or Hug him from behind or Hold his hands then Interlocking your fingers with his. Pet him. Message him. At this point, you should be somewhere where you two are alone and intimate. Start a intimate conversation with him to justify you holding him and petting him. That way it's not akward. Intimate Conversation can be about: Relationships. How you feel in general about life. What you want in life. Concepts of love. This gives him an opportunity to reveal his feelings. If not...but he is still receptive, move on.

 

4. BE SENSUAL

Initiated by two are all close in each other arms by now, so it's the matter of you wanting him to feel comfortable and safe.

Gently stroke or run your fingers along his arm. Maybe then his stomach. Be close to him. Get your face really close to him. So close that he can feel your warm breathe on his cheeks. Be Sensual. You get the idea. Girl, you know what to do. He should be turned on by now. Obviously, still there and receptive, then it is clear that he is into you.

 

BUT, let me tell you...There are some guys that are so uncomfortable with making the first moves, that he might still not be able to intiate the kiss even in that situation. Obviously he is interested, but some guys are so awkward and fearful of rejection that he wants everthing to just happen to him. So you need to take his passive receptiveness in each step of the way, as a sign of interest. It is safe to say he's into you, so you can just kiss the guy.

Or better yet. Tease him to death by moving your lips slowly near his lips. have him feel your breathe. Look at down his lips. But don't kiss him. This will make even the most awkward guy jump on you.

 

 

Good Luck Ellie, Let me know if you find this helpful.

[phoenix66]

As a guy, it's hard to know who you should take a chance on because some woman are just flirty. Over the years girls have layed on me, latched on to my arm, hugged me from behind, tickled me, rubbed my chest I can go on and on. And then I find out that they have a boyfriend or they were just plain joking around. So as a guy, you can imagine how difficult it can be know who really likes you. I think that you lying on him was a good start, just take your time, keep seeing him and remember to ESCALATE things more and more. The key is to make it as clear as possible that you like him. Suggest that you two do something together(a date) and see how he takes it.

 

I've read the replies and I'm glad to see that more and more women understand that some guys have trouble knowing when you are interested and you still are willing to do some work. I love it when women make the first move.

[Brooke657]

So what he's weird. My boyfriend's weird too. When I first met him he was extremely awkward but hey I took a chance and 3 years later it ended up being one ofthe best things I've ever done. If you think your moving to fast then slow it down, don't freak him out lol.

[ellie18]

thank you guys for all the wonderful advice! I invited him over to my house tonight because I'm having some people over and hopefully he will show up. After being in a relationship I feel like I've almost forgotten how to flirt so those tips helped! Omg seriously some guys just make me want to turn lesbian because they seem to just not get it! I'm going to do the same thing I did last weekend and step it up a bit tonight.. wish me luck!