I did it.. I had to.

[millaj]

Well if you have been reading my posts about the situations that I have been going through with my girlfriend, you will know that I have been at witts end with not having anymore intimacy. If you haven't, here is the link to read:

 

I thought that I would feel really awekward about it, but I actually don't. It's something that I needed and I did it. I don't even feel bad about it. Her and I have been going through it for so long, that I just couldn't handle it anymore. She knows that I have been unhappy with our sex life for some time now, and she says she doesn't know why she can't give me what I need.

 

In my whole life, I have never cheated on anyone, and I don't even know if I would call this cheating. The guy was a friend of mine, and he's really cool. I knew that I could call on him if I wanted to and I did. I'm probably not going to tell her b/c it really doesn't matter anymore. We have broke up and got back together so many times now, and the other day I think our last conversation sealed the deal.

 

I just wanted to get this off my chest.. do you think that I am horrible for this? Or is it justified due to the situation?

[Suesser Tod]

Well, maybe it is time to face the fact that both of you are not sexually compatible. I think it is perfectly fine that you are moving on with your life, as that relationship only had a lot more of frustration and anger for you.

[millaj]

That's true! Thanks. Yea, I think I'm going to stop worrying so much about our lack of intimacy and just keep it movin.

[Suesser Tod]

That's true! Thanks. Yea, I think I'm going to stop worrying so much about our lack of intimacy and just keep it movin.

 

Go and enjoy yourself, life is too short to get yourself stuck in a relationship that is not fulfilling.

[puppeteer]

um, i am unclear...

 

so...you cheated on your girlfriend with a guy because of lack of intimacy...ok...

 

and you both acknowledge there are problems with this...but have you told her about the sexual activity with the other guy?

 

personally...if it's not giving you what you need emotionally and physically, and you are not willing to compromise, then it'd be best to end the relationship with your girlfriend and move on to someone more your speed.

 

but she should be told. and yes it is considered cheating.

[millaj]

Yea, I should tell her, but I haven't yet b/c over the past couple of days we have been talking more about breaking up.. it's really hard for her to understand but she knows that it's over.

[millaj]

Update..

 

I ran into an old friend of mine.. another woman and we have been having sex. I told my partner yesterday and she is totally devistated. 1. It was another woman (I had told her that I was going to go outside of our relationship with a man) 2. I didn't tell her right away, and she added 2 and 2 together and confronted me about it right before I told her. 3. I planned it out and it's with a woman I know.

 

So now my partner is going through the stages of loss.. Sorrow, Denial, Bargaining, and Anger.. It hurts me too b/c I knew that it wasn't working out. I talked to her for months on end trying to let her know that I was not happy, and she couldn't do anything about it. So now she hates me.. or I don't know if she hates me, but she can't look at me the same way. She says she can't trust me anymore.

 

She says she wants to work on it, but I honestly think that its best that we just stay friends for now, and take our time to see if it's worth salvaging, or if it's best to just part ways. This new chick and I are still going to have a sex life, but I am going to talk to her today and tell her that it can only be purely physical.

[puppeteer]

"This new chick and I are still going to have a sex life, but I am going to talk to her today and tell her that it can only be purely physical."

 

Um..and I type this through clenched teeth...

 

You should not be in a relationship with your partner. She deserves better.

 

Get out of the relationship and go play. You aren't ready for a real responsible relationship. So get out of it, don't try to save it or work on it. Let her go find someone who will actually love her and respect her.

 

You aren't there yet.