Regret not letting them know?

[warhuhwow]

I really want to make a move on a girl I really like. However, things keep conspiring to make me think that there's no point, that I'd be rejected etc.

 

I know that if I don't do anything, I could easily regret it (especially as I'm out of the country for four months later this year) and so I'd really like to hear some stories from people who didn't do anything and lived to regret it. It could push the switch in my mind that makes me do it.

 

Didn't tell them how you felt? Never made a move? Turned out they liked you too? Vent it all at me! Please! I don't want to make the same mistake!

[i1dr]

Me, I've rarely regreted things I've done (but I tend to have always been cautious) but there are many, many things I regret. All of them things I had not done.

What is your interest in her? Is it sexual only, or is it something that you hope to develop into a long term relationship?

In either case, talk to her rather than trying "moves" and if it's rejection - then suck it up and frame it in your mind that it is at least that you were not affraid to be first and foremost honest and secondly that you had the courage to try - even where you were afraid to. That is the proper perspective anyhow - not wheter you get shot down here or not because with the right attitude you will be set better for life and good things (whatever they are to you) will come sooner or later. Not trying ... well things will rarely just fall into your lap, right?

But whatever you do - give her the respect of being honest. There is so much hurt already from dishonesty that it's never worth it on many levels to stoop to behaviour that gives you five minutes of glory - and a lifetime of knowing that you did someone wrong.

Good luck, warhuhwow.

[Biffy]

It's always better to regret what you have done that what what you haven't done.

 

Don't tell her how you feel is a general rule - asking her out is the generally accepted route.

 

Tell us more and there are folks here that should be able to help.

 

Peeps like Beec and heloladies are Jedi masters at this kind of thing.

[warhuhwow]

I've asked for advice about her here many times and nothing seems to spurn me on. I could go into all the reasons that complicate things, but I won't for now.

 

I really would just like to hear stories of people missing the boat or regretting not making a move! Someone must be willing to vent, right?

[LiL_MiSs_NeY]

i totally agree with the saying "a person who says something is a fool for five minutes but a person who doesn't is a fool forever"

 

i havent regretted anything in a while because im a big believer in fate and im happy how things have turned out. i remember back in days when i was about 18 i was crazy about this guy who i used to go to school with. i never told him how i felt even though my feelings lasted for nearly two years. he eventually started going out with a girl and for a while i regretted not telling him especially when he confessed to me he had the same feelings. but id never go out with someone who was in a relationship. it hurt a lot emotionally but after a while i eventually got over him and my feelings for my bf now wouldnt even come close. things happen for a reason so just think positive and eventually you will find that one person who wont even compare to the rest

[ghost69]

well war, i have a few for you to reflect on:

i've dated a lot of women in my past. most of the time i just ask them out. sometimes i do chicken out for some reason. first of all, there is a time for everything. that's just my statement on this. yeah sometimes you need to do something or you will beat yourself up about it forever. anyways, ...

 

-i changed high schools and moved to another school where i knew nobody. really sucked. there was this hot chick that would always stare at me and i back as well. it took a while since i knew nobody, but i finally built up the courage to say something to here. i asked her out. she told me flat out "why didn't you ask earlier?" she told me she just started seeing someone and my chance was blown. that made me feel sick because now i took a chance and got kind of rejected, but that i waited so long.

-there was this russian chick in a couple of my college classes. hot. i always thought she was flirting with me. i used to tell my friend about her and he would always say ask her out. i never did. now i will probably never see her again. i hate myself for this one.

 

i've been shut down a lot. it happens to everyone. i don't care how good anybody looks, it just happens. you will never know if you try though. once you get rejected a couple of times, it's not a big deal. women love that you tried. when you have tried, you may see them again in the future. who knows. she will remember you though. trust me. it has happened to me. a woman i have asked out before that said no, i got with further down the road. now, i take a chance if i'm feelin a chick. if i talk with her a bit and i feel she is someone i can't click with i don't waste my time. if i see an attractive chick i usually strike up some kind of quick conversation with her. if it goes sour or i'm not into it, i don't even ask for her number or anything. a simple see ya will do here.

 

to sum up, i think you need to say something. maybe she feels you.

 

does this help?

 

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