Broken up with today after 3 years..

[erinj78]

Well, my story will be shocking only because of the extreme of it all. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. He is 41 and I am 28. We haven't always had the rosiest relationship. We are very different people but we have managed to make it work to some extent. He is narcisist (I am convinced of it) and I am more laid back and don't really care about a lot of things.

 

We broke up last June, his doing, because "we werent a good match". This is after he broke up with me 6 times before that. I did the whole no contact thing until my birthday came along in July and he called me. We met for drinks and he asked me back. He told me he wanted to get married and all that biz. Well I took him back. We have been back together since and I thought things we ok.

 

to me he wasn't making any great strides to get married...but I am use to it from him. Well fast forward 7 months later and today he breakes up with me over the phone while I'm on my lunch break. TODAY!

 

Anyway, there is sooooo much more to the story of his bad behavior..that you would shocked. But the pure fact that he would break up with me on Valentine's Day and say to me "It's just Valentine's Day" speaks volumes I know....but HE'S 41!!

 

Oh well.....I guess 7 times being broken up with should tell me something I suppose. ](*,)

[melrich]

Yeah. 7 times should tell you something. You are better off without him. Go out and have some fun, put him behind you knowing in your heart that it wasn't right.

[shikashika]

ugh... I had someone break up with me on my lunch hour too!

 

Takes real class and respect to do that

 

don't speak to him again... he's had 7 chances... you are still young and ahve a whole life ahead of you.. go out and enjoy it!

[ruby19]

That's downright low of him. I understand how you feel, you tried so hard to give him the benefit of the doubt and hope with enough love and understanding he'll get his act together. Seems like he will never change and the way he did it, so harsh. You'll be glad to be finally rid of him in time.

[erinj78]

I know but you loose a piece of yourself after 3 years with someone. Even though he can suck to the fullest extent...I feel lost.

 

I sound pathetic.

[Wandering_Sword]

Not pathetic. Just being human

[caro33]

Erin it's completely normal to feel like that, don't be hard on yourself. No one here will be hard on you for feeling hurt and a bit misplaced right now!

 

But he doesn't sound like he's really worthy of you, and you can walk away right now knowing you gave it your all and you gave him many chances to prove himself.

 

Has he ever been married or in a serious long term relationship before? I will hit you with a sexist generalism but I believe that once men get into their late 30s/early 40s, if they have not been able to commit to anyone before then it is highly unlikely they will be able to commit in the future. Your guy's behaviour sounds reminiscent of men my friends have dated who have turned out to be confirmed bachelors.

[erinj78]

Yes, he was married once when he was 30, while in the Marines. It was short lived...maybe less than a year but he stayed married to her for 3 years or she was going to be shipped back to Japan. They didn't live together for anything more than a year. Other than that, I do know I am the longest relationship he has ever had. Which is turn makes me his wippy post.

 

I think he hates me. That's what i really think. He never once made me feel he felt lucky to be with me...it was always i should feel lucky to be with him. He's sucessful and he thinks that is the end all of be all...