I am finally getting over it

[redsuede]

for reals.. I am finding sparks of new happiness everyday. Its been 5 months, and I am FINALLY GETTING OVER IT.

 

**you can congratulate me now.. Lol... Just kidden**

[robowarrior]

*congratulates you* lol

[pinkelephant]

lol, congrats.

 

 

any secrets to success?

[isidore]

You kick butt!

[redsuede]

well, I was a miserable mess.. Didnt sleep or eat.. ANALYZED all day long, and I just got tired of it, and scared that I would stay stuck forever. I implemented NC as much as I could, which was 90% of the time, and I took that time to try to figure out why I would want to be with someone who spent years of their life with me, and now doesnt want it anymore. I realize that I deserve to be with someone who truly wants to stay and appreciate me. Ulitimately, a break up hurts. Its what we do with our brain that keeps us stuck. If we sit around and think about how much we miss that person, that is what we will do. If we take the rose colored glasses off and see the situation for what it really is, it allows us to move on and see that there still is a life out there, and it can be good. But it wont be good if we sit in the hurt each and every day and not GO THROUGH the hurt. Just feel the hurt and try to focus on a better life and one day you will wake up with a glimmer of hope..

 

Take life for what it gives you. If they come back it was meant to be. But until then, act as if they are not coming back, that way you will find YOUR life, not a life that may not happen again..

 

Hope that helps.

[Drunk]

Congrats!!!!!

[terk2021]

RedSuede,

 

Congrats, and good stuff. Why don't you share some of the specifics as to what you feel really helped you heal. Not just the high level stuff...

[redsuede]

It really was just going through the hurt. Nothing really made the hurt go away, just living through it, and really trying to focus my thoughts to where they should be. Whenever I started to miss it, I would just think of all of the things that hurt me so much in the relationship, and tried to focus on bettering my life, and having better in my life. It got tricky, because I would have a good day or two, and then the next day, I would find myself sad and empty again.. The trick for me was to recognise it was just a day, and had to focus harder on why the breakup is happening. Nothing will make it go away unless you face it and go through it.

 

This is kind of a dumb analogy, but.. picture yourself taking a math test. If you dont try to focus on getting through it and the answers right, you have to face it over and over again until you "pass" it. Its the same thing with your thoughts.. When those days happen when it all seems so sad and lonely, ... feel it... but do a lot of self talk.. a lot of affirmations (I know, sounds dumb).. and one day, you will realize you are living those things.

[unstuck]

Yeah, getting to the point of looking at things the way THEY ARE is key. Hope creates denial, and visa-versa. I've known all along I'll be better off and find someone better, it just took time to let my heart catch up and shake all the "woulda, coulda, shoulda's".

[dgtx]

Redsuede, you deserve to be with someone who loves you back, attends to you, and respects you! Thanks for your posts and good luck, sounds like you're really getting to the healing place.

[redsuede]

Thanks.. That was very nice of you to say. I appreciate it.

 

Please keep me posted on your situation and you can contact me anytime about your situation. I understand completely what you are going through.