My Depressing Feelings Over Life Right Now

[fantasygal78]

Ok where do i start......

My now ex and i had been together 4 yrs .

We met when my youngest son was 2 weeks old.

So up until about 4 months ago ..we had the usual relationship probs .nothing i thought would cause an end to us.

Well he decides to go stay with some friends and then in th eprocess of being there decideds he is moving out.

So he comes about a month later and moves his stuff out. Says he is staying in same state that he just cant live here anymore..ok so this is hard on me but i still hold on to the 4 yrs cause he will still b in same state.

Well 2 weeks after this he decides he is moving to California which is 3,000 miles away from me and my boys.

He stays with me the weekend before he leaves and says he may come back that he loves me and boys and that he wants to see how things go.

So he is out there a month and through all this he says i dont know if im coming back i love you i miss you.....

So about a week ago he says he isnt coming back.

About 5 days ago he has my phone shut off (just because)

Im doing a little better past few days but this was the hardest thing i had ever been through in my life . I honestly went through the same stages of emotions as if someone had died.

Being with someone 4 yrs of your life and then them just deciding to up and leave u is the hardest thing in the world.

I didnt want to go on i thought of killing myself and everything.

I am not the type of person that would ever go through something like that but to even feel that worthless is awful.

I dont think i will ever understand why people hurt each other intentionally

Well that is my "short" version of my ramblings

[Street-Bum]

otay, i feel as if i know u'r story all too well, i have a friend who put his girlfriend in a very similar situation. From his point of view he says hes just tired of her, but instead of just ending it, or explaining to her his feelings (or lack there of) he just stays or pretends to stay in the relationship and let it corrode with time, while he not caring for her. To me it seems as if u'r ex was too scared or too much of a ahole to even consider u'r feelings. I would of thought something was up when he said he would move to cali, but like they say love blinds the best of eyes, and thats exactly what happened to you. This guys seems to have u'r heart in the plam of his hand and can squeeze and break you when he wants, This situation is obviously not healthy and u need to move on, b/c a person that truly loves you, wouldn't want to hurt you. Right now is when u need u'r friends the most, Try not to spend too much time alone cuz alone time just gives to time to dwel on the past and make u sad, just keep your head up , and look around you and smile, There will always be a New day...

[Street-Bum]

[fantasygal78]

Since my last post ...i have pretty much cut ties..my phone was in his name and he had it cut off was just the boiling point for me.

I cant say that i dont still care u dont just stop like that but im taking the first step at cutting ties so that i can go on with my life.

Only thing i can do except for and i dont do that very much lol

So ill just take it day by day.