Selfish ex leading me on?

[cobro]

I have been hanging out with my ex girlfriend alot lately. Brief background, she dumped me 5 months ago to go back to her ex, it didn't work out between them and 4 months later she came calling me. We have been hanging out and talking ever since she became single again, and she calls me everyday, and every night before she goes to bed. We hang out often also. We have not been intimate, we have established we are just friends. This is where my dilemma comes in. I told her last week that I can't stay her platonic friend forever, a few months down the road I see myself wanting more than that from her. I told her I still love her and can see myself with her in the future. I basically spilled my intentions to her, saying that I am going to want more than a friendship eventually. In response, she said nothing. She started to cry a bit and was happy, but had nothing to tell me. I didn't expect her to since she just got out of a relationship, but a something would have been better than nothing. So she still calls me before going to sleep, when she wakes up, hang out, etc... making me think that maybe one day we can be something. She even told me she had something to tell me, but now she won't tell me! Is that selfish? Lately I have been getting impatient when hanging out with her, she won't tell me anything about her intentions with me. Why does she act like she might want more but not tell me? So I had to confront her today, asking her what she wanted out of me. She said friendship. Nothing about the future, nothing. My ideal response would have been "I want to be friends and maybe more in the future" seeing that she acts like that and knows that's what I want. So I have come to the conclusion she is just stringing me along until she is ready for more, IF she is ever ready. She could just string me along and then meet someone else and break my heart. That is why I want to know what she wants out of me, before it gets too late for me to get out! Do you think I was wrong to ask her this? I like to be honest and talk about things, she likes to conceal things. She got mad at me for asking, saying I was going to ruin our friendship. I have been nothing but good to her, but if she can't see what she has in front of her, or at least admit it to me now, she never will. So I told we shouldn't talk as much, to which she replied for me to call her, she won't call me. I said fine. So does it sound like she is just stringing me along until she figures out what she wants, or just using me as a rebound. I can't let her do that! I don't want to get hurt again, I told her that and she doesn't understand. She says I'm pushing her away. Did I do the right thing, thats all I need to know.

Thanks

cobro

[Gilgamesh]

She didnt see what she had in front of her before when she dumped you to go back to her Ex, and she doesnt know what she has in front of her now, except that she thinks you'll be there anytime she desides to throw you a bone.

 

You know already whats going on, you just dont want to believe, she has not changed , she IS the same person that dumped you for her Ex. thats who she is, not the one you want her to be.

 

your choice. one thing I do know, almost certain, If you stop hanging with her so much, she will probobly want you more once she realizes she is losing her grip on you, The thing is, will you still want her?

[cobro]

I really want to call her later to apologize for acting like I did and causing her to question our friendship. Would calling her make me look pathetic? Or should I wait for her to call me? I would really like things to work out, but I don't know if that's possible. She is a very proud girl. When we dated last time around, she always called the shots in the relationship. If she didn't want to be around me, she would act shady. If I said "i love you" at the wrong time, she would get upset. If she wanted out of the relationship, she did it. She had control of the whole thing. Now that I've realized that, I don't want it to happen again, that is why I told her what I want, and asked her to do the same. Otherwise, it just gives her control to lead me along until she tires of me or meets someone else. As far as trust goes, I can see myself trusting her again and being everything to her, someday. I wish she would just give me an answer. It could be that she is confused and cannot give me an answer. So my only question is, should I contact her before it's too late and it would turn awkward?

Thanks

cobro

[Genesis]

It looks like she still calls the shots. You can call but do not talk about what you said, or just wait for her to call. She will never respect youif you do not respect youself. Just continue to be her friend just only see her 2-3 times a week. Do not call her alot. If this is not going to work out then you need to ween yourself off of her.