God help me through this because I'm running out of strength!

[persuaded]

It has been 4 months since he walked out and I have gone through every possible emotion under the sun...

 

today is or rather ... it would have been our 8 year anniversary!

 

It is driving me mad. I am like this obsessed mad woman who cannot get him out of my mind!!!!!!

 

I broke NC this weekend. Asked if we could meet for a coffee. My therapist advised me to as she says that we have unresolved issues... But he turned me down saying he wasn't ready yet and broke down into tears on the phone. (He dumped me by the way) He said he thought i'd find someone else by now and although he cares and misses me we can't be together... He too thinks 'what if..' but cannot do anything about it.

 

then called again and we spoke for like an hour and he sounded much happier.

 

i did it... i became his ego boost... well done... The next day he called and then we had a really inane text conversation as if i'm his best bud.

 

Then I got a cheerie text saying 'let me know when you want to meet up' in the next few weeks... which angered me!

 

I called him really upset and said that he was taking things lightly...

 

I AM GOING MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I keep dreaming and thinking and crying myself to sleep and can't get him out of my mind. All my friends tell me to forget about this loser but I feel as if I cannot breathe without him.

 

I keep on scheming in my head ways to see him and get back together...

 

GOD.... please give me my sanity back... please...

 

Does anybody have any ideas? No matter how busy I am I keep thinking and it's driving me nuts!!!!!!!

[Orlander]

What has helped me through my own very troubled times is understanding that i just want my ex to be happy and if that means she is with someone new and is about to be married, then so be it.

 

1. Everytime you catch yourself thinking about him, push the thoughts away

2. Understand that you love him and so the natural thing to do is just let him be happy in his own pursuits. In other words, keep love in your heart and don't let yourself get angry about his actions or inactions

3. Envision yourself happy in a life without him. Yes, it is hard, but start trying now. It will help open you up to being happy and finding love again.

 

 

Orlander

[AwdreeHpburn]

persuaded - I feel for you.

 

I don't really know how to tell someone who was married for almost 8 years to go into and stay in a world of no contact. Do you two have kids?

 

I imagine NOT having kids would make NC easier but 4 months is still so new.

 

Try - as Orlander said - pushing thoughts away.

 

I always tried markers - time markers. Like, if I can just make it to this time I'll be eating dinner so I'll be too busy eating to think of calling. Or, if I can just make it until my favourite show is on I'll be too busy to think of calling or obsessing.

 

Then, if I can just make it thru the night, I have work tomorrow and getting thru a work day where one has to be somewhat professional was a big help to me to get thru a large amount of time.

 

Eventually, another 4 months will go by.

 

Start striving to reach different time markers. It will get easier and easier.

[persuaded]

thanks guys...

 

i decided i'm going out tonight and not staying at home moping.

 

the void they leave you with is unforgivable. How could they say i love you and then nothingness?

 

no we weren't married and didn't have kids but i had built a whole life of dreams... and now i need to detach myself from them.

[ebsmith1]

Persuaded I feel pretty much the way that you do now. I too gave my ex an ego boost yesterday and am feeling crappy because of it. I'm also having a very hard time feeling like I can live a life without him. I too am always told that he's a loser and I deserve better, but I love him and don't want anyone else. It's very hard. I just try to keep busy. It's been four months since he broke our engagement and moved in with someone else, that alone should be enough to get him out of my head, but it hasn't been. I just live with the hope that this can't last forever, that someday I will look back and not remember why I felt this way.