I shouldn't get excited

[finalcloud13]

I know I shouldn't get excited, because I might be (most likely am) setting myself up for some future disappointment but since I've stopped pleading and being unattractive, then stopped being the one to initiate contact with my ex, she initiates contact with me. I feel excited because she never initiated contact with me since she dumped me, but that might just be because I was being unattractive by pleading plus I always initiated contact.

I'm trying to get my ex back, though most of the advice I get is to let go.

Anyway, when she initiated contact with me today, she just said she just wanted to say hi to me (a first since breakup) and to my dog and that she was going to sleep and said good night and bye bye.

 

Now, everytime she initiated contact with me, I always responded. But I'm wondering for my ultimate goal of getting her back, if I should not respond, or what.

[heloladies21]

Well #1 NC games don't work so whether or not to respond is a moot point. But also what you're developing is the all famous false hope. So many guys have been in your position only to find out that their ex is with some other dude. Leaves them broken in the end.

 

Your method of trying to win back your ex has been proven not to work.

[finalcloud13]

Thanks for the reality check. *sniff*

So is your recommendation also to give it up?

[Ellie2006]

FinalCloud,

 

It seems as though that Heloladies was simply telling you what you already knew, wouldn't you say? After all, you acknowledge in the original post that you shouldn't get too excited by her contact.

 

In my humble opinion, you are still giving your ex too much control over your emotions; her message is simple, really ... just a friendly hello and you're attributing to it with more meaning than perhaps she intended?

 

My two cents, but it would be best for you to gain control over your emotional stability and move forward w/ your life.

 

Just a thought ...

 

Hang in there, FinalCloud.

 

Cheers,

Ellie

[heloladies21]

Well my man,for you I'd do this. First take some time in a temporary NC phase. You're gonna do this so you can let your emoitons cool and deal with the situation rationally. Don't worry, she'll still be there for you to contact when you're better, but you're not accomplishing anything in your current state.

 

Then once you've come to the point where your feelings don't control you anymore, you can ring her up to finalize both of your intentions. Let her know how you feel,m she lets you know how she feels, than ask her if she wants to try a relationship again. But beware, because if you get anything other than an outright "yes", then it is stalling and really means "no,i don't want to get back together with you ever." At this point you request NC again, but this time for good as everything has been said.

 

Then you move on.