unfaithful love, i want her, she wants me, but shes taken

[simply complicated]

I'm caught in an interesting little situation, for the past while, i've been involved with a young ladie, she makes me feel good inside and out. she cares for me as i care for her, but theres a little problem....she has a boyfriend....which shes been dating for three years. we've messed around and have shared some sentual feelings with one another, although she makes me feel so good, this whole situation is so wrong, i mean, shes been dating the guy for three years, but i guess love is funny like that, i bet your probably thinking "you should'nt be messin around with her, shes got a boyfriend" but it's different, we really care about eachother, i make her feel great, as if she's wanted, as if she's loved, i think i've shown her how love truley feels, and she's shown me that to, but this is messed up, i have no idea how to approach the situation, what should i do, i don't want her boyfriend to know, but i don't want her to keep doing this behind his back either, what should i do, should i keep persueing her or.....i don't know, what do you think?

[lucy001]

If she's messing around on her boyfriend, then something's wrong with their relationship. That's her problem, not yours. Let her deal with her own problems. If it bothers you that she's not committed to you, then that's where you step in. You can give her an ultimatum, but be ready to back it up. Or you can wait on her to change things. You also have to understand, if she does eventually break up with him, it will still hurt for her and you can expect problems for awhile in your own relationship. It's never good to jump from one relationship to another without some in between time to grieve. She will feel very torn between the two of you. Good luck.

[HiMyNameIsBrian__HeHe]

Aight dude she has a boyfriend of 3 years. STOP MESSING AROUND 3 years it serious chit and really shouldn't interfere with that...

[EmptySoul]

if you're going to go as far as considering everyone's feelings in this situation, think of how this guy feels....does he really love her? and how she feels....does she really love him?...if you're ok with her not being fully committed to you and cheating on her boyfriend, then leave things the way they are, but if you're not, maybe you need to tell her to make up her mind. don't say it in a mean way, just remind her to think of her boyfriend...no offense to you her or her boyfriend, but if she was with this guy 3 YEARS then she meets you and cant stop herself from cheating on him, was their relationship really that strong? if it was i think she would have chose by now or at least have been honest with the guy....it's up to you whether you ignore what's right and wrong to halfway keep this girl, or do what you know is right....

 

EmptySoul

[simply complicated]

you all make good points, thanks for your advice, especially you EMPTYSOUL, i see your view better.

Now i don't mean to sound like an asshole, but today i meet her boyfriend for the first time, you'll never guess where.....i met him at my work....because he works there to...lol...what are the chances, so anyway, i meet him...lol...and it's his girlfriend that introduces us to one another, so i say "whats up", he says the same, only he can't look me in the eye, and his tone of voice is low, almost like a mumble. at first i could'nt understand why she betrayed him, but after seeing the way he looked (and don't tell me looks have nothing to do with it) and his attitude, no wonder she cheated on him, personally i think i should persue this, i really like this girl.

so tell me what you think about that, do you agree or disagree, give me your advice.

[EmptySoul]

hi again-

like i said before, i think you should tell this girl nicely to make up her mind. if you try to do this, don't pressure her or rush her, just explain to her why... no matter what this bf is like, i know from experience what it feels like to find out someone you care about has been fooling around with someone else, and it makes you feel like a loser and completely clueless and stupid. plus, (though i know this doesnt happen too often these days ) if this guy REALLY cares about this girl he will want her to be happy. The same goes for you

IMO you should just ask her: "Who do you really want to be with?" "Who really makes you happy?" Things like that... PM if you want...

 

EmptySoul