Hi I'm new and need advice!!!!

[barbarella]

Hi everyone i'm new here, but have visited this place quite often in the past. Anyway i decided to join because i desperately need some advice. I can't talk to friends or family about this, because i feel a bit silly about this. Anyway if you can help me, i would greatly appreciate it. I must warn you, that this post maybe a bit longwinded, but i hope you can bear with me, so here goes:

 

I am a single mum and have been single for 5 years, i know its a long time but i just haven't been interested in anyone up until now!!! A few months ago i started work and i really enjoy it and have made lots of friends. However a month ago, i realised i was attracted to someone, and it completely took me by surprise, since then i have been acting completely out of character, because i don't know what to do, or if he likes me as well, everything!!!! The reason why i'm in such a dilemma is that i can't figure men out, i've only had one relationship and that was a long time ago now. I feel stupid about it, about my feelings. This man has been nothing but a gentleman to me and incredibly genuine. At first, when i realised i was attracted to him, i tried to avoid him, but he noticed and confronted me about it, of course i made some pathetic excuse. He would ask me personal questions and i would tell him i didn't want to talk about things like that, i tried indifference and that didn't work either. During all this i'm becoming more and more attracted to him. I feel stupid because we are completely different people with different backgrounds and he's younger than me, so its inconcievable to think anything would happen. However i don't know, sometimes and this is where i need the advice, i think he may like me back, i don't know how to explain this so all i can do are use examples. For instance, he likes to know who i am and what i think, he asks alot about my personal life (btw i'm beginning to open up about that), he like to analyse me, like he'll say things like ( i won't be specific here): ' i think you are like this or like that' and he's always right and he's always complimentary with it. At our works do, he was in my company the whole night and even offered to give me a lift home ( i refused, it was out of his way). He will look straight into my eyes like he's looking for something or trying to figure me out or speak to me with them in some way (i know that may sound crazy), but that can be quite intimidating, considering how i feel about him. Today we went for lunch and we talked about everything, in fact it became very deep and very personal, at one stage while he was talking, i felt like saying 'stop!!!! don't you realise i'm attracted to you? and everything you are saying is making me fall harder for you??', of course i didn't, but he even noticed how agitated i was becoming but was mistaking it for what he was saying. He even asked me what i looked for in a man, but then proceeded to tell me what he thought i looked for in a man and he was right!!!! i thought i was going to burst!!! Anyway i have rambled on for long enough and there are too many more instances that i could bore you with, but i hope you can understand how silly i feel!!! I don't know what to think? am i being stupid? is this all in my imagination or does he like me? and if not, what can i do about it, and if he does, what should i do about it? Please if you have any advice, i would be eternally grateful!!!! Thanks.

[robowarrior]

Pffft it doesn't take a genius to understand that this man is reading you like a book. For heavens sake, if a man asks in what kind of men you are interested it, its only meant so he can adapt to be that man your interested in. But personally i think your rushing things. Your almost pushed into a relationship and your head over heels in love with him, your completely blinded and would take him into your life, without knowing anything about him. You know barely nothing about his good/bad parts, you know you have my blessing to try to get a relationship with him, just be carefull ok?

[barbarella]

Thanks rodowarrior I understand what you mean. Thats why i find it so hard, knowing that i've been single for so long, maybe i'm misinterpreting his signals. I did forget to mention that he has told me a great deal about himself, about his family, his past, his beliefs, all of it. Some of it really has really surprised me, considering he is so young, but i admire him more because of it.

I won't fall into a relationship with him so easily, even if he is keen, because my last relationship failed because we did take it too fast. I suppose i am not used to having feelings for someone i'm not sure feels the same way back, i feel kind of out of control and i've always believed that if a man is truly interested in you, he will pursue you, or tell you!!