Man am I bad at telling stories!

[valiantv]

I really need to improve my communication skills.

 

Dedicated readers may remember me posting a message a few months ago about an incident when I was hit on - with great enthusiasm and determination (to the point that I feel sorry for the girl) - by a friend of a friend soon after I started going out with my current gf...

 

Anyway several days later when I met up with my gf, I told her this story - partly out of wanting to tell her an anecdote, and partly because I felt sort of dishonest not telling her (like I was hiding it)... And I want to be totally honest about everything... She asked me if I was tempted, and I thought she was kind of joking, but kind of said no and laughed it off. Because in my mind, nothing could tempt me away from her, the very idea is laughable.

 

Since then she has been passing the odd jokey comment about this other girl like if she says she can't go out with me to the cinema or something and I reply "Oh alright, guess I'll have to find someone who appreciates me", "Oh really? Like Lana? (not the real name)"... So I've been assuming it's OK to joke about.

 

She asked me after I told her, why I told her, but me being drunk couldn't articulate my words properly or think about it properly, said just because I thought it would be like a funny story. Not very convincing I'd say, given the circumstances.

 

But it came up again lately, and she told me that when I was telling her the story, that she was full sure I was going to tell her we kissed or something! Until I told her that nothing happened... Just thinking about it again there before I posted this message, I did act a bit weird just before I told her - we were cuddling up watching TV in her house, and I asked if I could make a cup of coffee, in an apparently blatant attempt to not be cuddling as I told this story. "Why?" she asked in a slightly concerned tone, seeing right through to my ulterior motive, then as I told the story I realised it wasn't as funny an anecdote as I thought, and might have appeared slightly nervous telling her. At no point did I indicate nothing happened, until she asked whether I was tempted and I laughed, "No!"... I now believe she wasn't joking when she asked if I was tempted.

 

It's the kind of story that is coming up in conversation a lot in comparison to the small significance I'd like to view it as. So if I bring it up again I to clarify a bit further, I think I might just make it worse! And, if I bring it up again, I'll probably forget to say something else, so I'll have to bring it up yet again...

[dogheadma]

Then stop bringing it up! Just drop it. Let it die. If she brings it up again, just tell her it was nothing, that it's bothering you how much the two of you talk about it and you would like to just let it go.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Yeh - I agree. I doubt its as much about the communication style as it is about the conversation topic....

[valiantv]

Well it's not bothering me! I'd definitely rather she knew with total clarity the whole situation, than she be guessing at it..

[AwdreeHpburn]

yeh, but she IS guessing at it and second guessing herself and your reasons for telling her, and the relationship, and your joking about it....

 

What does it all mean???

 

I mean, dude, I think it MAY be botherig her....maybe...

[valiantv]

Exactly.

 

OK -

I don't want to bring it up because I think I may be making too big a deal of it.

I do want to bring it up because I don't want her to be second guessing or bothered.

 

I think I will... next time we are talking seriously about such things.