serena112 Posted August 29, 2003 Share Posted August 29, 2003 My bf and I broke up about a month ago. Earlier this week I had a one night stand with a guy I knew for about 3 weeks. We used a condom, we didn't even kiss or have oral sex. Now I am back with my bf and we don't use protection. I don't know what to do. I practiced safe sex and just to be on the safe side I'm going to get tested Monday. Should I tell my bf about my one night stand or should I not mention unless I find out I have something. Thank you for your advice in advance. Link to comment
Micksbabyboo Posted August 29, 2003 Share Posted August 29, 2003 Well if you do have something you are clearly blocking his rights to know you cant really hold that from him if you guys were broken up you had the rights to have sex with who ever u wanted so i dont think it should have any effects on your relationship so yeah you should let him know I Wish you luck and that you have nothing Love, Dc Link to comment
serena112 Posted August 29, 2003 Author Share Posted August 29, 2003 Thanks for your reply. I'm pretty sure that I don't have anything but I want to be positive that I don't. I will tell him b/c he is the type of person who hates secrets. So I have to come clean before it gets to serious again. Thanks again Link to comment
crookster_man Posted August 29, 2003 Share Posted August 29, 2003 Honesty and truth are critical to a relationship. Don't lie about such things to your BF. At the same time, what would such knowledge do for the relationship? If you feel that you are "hiding" this from your BF then it will be eating away at you. This could cause some serious issues in the future. If that is the case then you will have to weigh the risks and benefits. What is the situation? Are you each other's firsts? Have you had sex with other people? Why did you have a one night stand? Did he have any sex or sexual contact with others when you were apart? These things will influence how he will take it. What was the situation regarding the breakup? Generally I advocate complete truth and honesty, would I want to know? Defiantly. Would it eat me up? Yes. Would I get over it or would I break it off? Depending on the situation I would most likely let it go. You know your BF better then I, do you think he would be upset. Has he asked you such things already and you have lied? If that is the case I would suggest you stop lying, it will get you nowhere fast. Do what you feel is in your best interests. Be prepared for whatever he says. You didn't do anything "wrong" per say, he might view it differently unfortunately. I suggest if you do tell him that you explain the situation to him, let him know that it meant nothing and answer any questions (give him time to get upset and ask questions if he needs it). You might feel like you are getting attacked or blamed for a bad action. Even though that may not be the case, he will probably be hurt so give him time to vent and get it off his chest. This shouldn't be something that destroys your second chance, if it does then it wasn't that strong in the first place. It's funny though eh? We never really think about the consequences of our actions, the implications, until it comes back to bite us in the butt. Good luck in whatever to decide. We will be here for you. Maybe you should send your BF here for advice? Link to comment
serena112 Posted August 30, 2003 Author Share Posted August 30, 2003 I talked to him about it. He told me that what happened in the past should stay in the past and that it's not important. I couldn't ask for anything more. Thanks for the advice. Link to comment
Micksbabyboo Posted August 30, 2003 Share Posted August 30, 2003 yay we aer all happy for you im glad things went smothly Link to comment
coltons_mom Posted August 30, 2003 Share Posted August 30, 2003 Yes, I think you should tell him because he has a right to know if you do have something. Honesty is a big part of a relationship. If you tell him and be honest now and not let him find out on his own maybe by accident then you both can feel at ease instead of holding in it and hoping he will not find out THANKS Link to comment
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