Found a naked video of my boyfriend's Ex-girlfriend

[1Bella1]

K, random thing to post about, even weirder time to be posting since it's Xmas eve and all.

 

My boyfriend left his phone at my house by accident..and being nosey i decided to look at the snaps and video's taken from the other night out with our friends. I honestly wasn't doing it out of suspicion or not trusting him. However I came accross an old video (over a year old) of his ex girlfriend, naked.

 

I dont really know what to think, i know the video was old...i just dont know why its still on his phone as we've been together over a year. I do trust that he loves me but now i feel quite insecure, as he's never taken any naked snaps or vids of me. I dont know, it's made me feel quite upset but i suppose it's my own fault for being nosey.

 

I don't want to say anything and ruin christmas, i just feel quite confused. Let me know what you think, am i being over-the-top? Should i just forget it?

[Newo Ikkin]

However much I trust my significant other, I would go frigging ape.

Leave the discussion until after Christmas, but I urge you to raise the question as to why he feels the need to keep it.

[rose2summer]

That video would upset me too.

 

I too would wonder why he hasn't deleted it yet.

 

You don't want to ferment your frustrations so it's best to bring it up with him now while the problem is fresh.

 

However do it with tact as you were invading his privacy and it was before he met you.

 

Hugs, Rose

[Massari]

I am sorry of how you feel

honestly ppl don't know whats on their phone many times.. maybe he forgot that this is there in the first place! what do you think?

[Newo Ikkin]

 

You don't want to ferment your frustrations so it's best to bring it up with him now while the problem is fresh.

 

 

I understand where you're coming from there.

[Newo Ikkin]

what do you think?

Massari, do you believe that yourself? Assuming he knows its there, what would you do in her shoes?

[rose2summer]

I must admit I have pictures with 2 exes ago (clean ones) on my phone that I found recently.

 

I had no idea they were still there and was sure I deleted them.

 

So maybe he just innocently doesn't know they are there.

 

Tact is important here though because you were snooping.

 

So please be cautious in how you approach the conversation.

[Massari]

Massari, do you believe that yourself? Assuming he knows its there, what would you do in her shoes?

I totally understand how she feels and to tell you the truth I would be very upset also. but I am saying it because it has happene to me.. not about a photo but a text or an old email.. gf was going through my stufff.. she finds this and makes a big deal out of it. The going through my stuff is bad but I am ok with it cause I have nothing to hide.. now when I explain to her that I didn't know it was there in the first place she wouldn't believe me and THATS when it gets frustrating.. do you understand where I'm coming from?

 

I know how she feels at this point and if he knows its there then I would get upset because after a year being together there is no point of keeping these old thigs in your mailbox, cell phone and stuff

[anggrace]

That would bother me too!!! If you think you can hold off bringing it up till xmas is over I would. Not only because its the holidays but then youll have time too let your nerves calm a bit. When you do bring it up, be sure not to sound accusing or as if your lecturing him. Just calmy let him know how it makes you feel. Knowing it is hurfull to you, he will hopefully take it off his phone. If not, that should tell you something about what kind of guy he is and what your in for.

[Newo Ikkin]

I understand exactly where you're coming from. I wasnt doubting it, dont worry. Kudos, dude.

[Massari]

I understand exactly where you're coming from. I wasnt doubting it, dont worry. Kudos, dude.

 

I would think confronting is good it will make her feel better and as other members said just don't make it sound accusing.. always give him the benefit of him not knowing its there.. maybe he knew.. but then they have been going out for a year.. thats a long time ,

[1Bella1]

Thanks for your replies, i really appreciate them, I wish i hadnt looked now because i seem to have ruined the next 24 hours for myself. I have to give hiim his presents and stuff tomorrow. I dont now whether i'll bring it up then. But i willl have to bring it up at some point, how do you think it would be best to do this?

[Massari]

Thanks for your replies, i really appreciate them, I wish i hadnt looked now because i seem to have ruined the next 24 hours for myself. I have to give hiim his presents and stuff tomorrow. I dont now whether i'll bring it up then. But i willl have to bring it up at some point, how do you think it would be best to do this?

 

AWWW> I am soooo sorry you feel this way.. PLEASE don't think too much into this.. I am suuure its an accident, if it makes you feel better tell us about your bf.. like how he is .. you know he loves you right?? so why panic and ruin your day for something that is probably is not even in his mind at this time...

[rose2summer]

I would tell him, very nicely, not confrontational.

 

Hey X-

 

When you left your phone at my house the other day, I became curious, and I do respect your privacy, but I looked into your phone and to my dismay I found an explicit video of your ex in there. I care about you deeply, so I wanted to ask you about it so it doesn't create a rift between us.

 

Something like that may work.

[1Bella1]

Well we've been together a year, we'd been friends a while before that, we helped each other during the break ups of our previous relationships. He was with J, a girl who moved away to Australia, the one i found the video of.

We've had a brilliant relationships, some hard times but worked through them and things have really paid of.

 

I have been insecure in the past, but i've never been obsessive or jealous, i respect his space and that he's an individual aswell as my boyfriend. I pretty much have never loved any one as much as I love luke and while i believe he loves me to bits, i've always been conscious that maybe i felt a little more than him. I dont know why, call it an instinct.

 

He's an open person, he's strong but not over-confident and he trusts me implicitly. I believe him when he says he loved me and would'nt be unfaithful to me. He is a loyal person, and as well as being his girlfriend he respects me as a friend too. I think because of that, he wouldnt betray me.

 

This has just made me feel very inadequate in a way, and it re-enforces my own silly insecurities that i spend a great deal of my time trying to hide.

 

I do feel that i need to talk to him about it, pruhaps better tonite than tomorrow, christmas is usually quite a stressful day.

[freedom]

just to point something out.

You should not have been digging thru his phone UNLES you thought there was something going on. (i dont condone that either) but i have to point something out here.

I am pretty sure that many people here including the poster have sentimental letters/emails/gifts that their EX has sent them and not destroyed it. Whether it is a naked photo or not it is not for you to TELL him if he can keep it or not.

If he had found all your previous letters and demanded that you destroy them, would you be pretty upset???

To be honest, i think the reaction you are having is the fact that she is naked and you are a woman and you feel threatened by it, my point is, if the past relationship is over, you do no that anything to feel threatened about.

Personally i dont think you have the right to tell him to delelte it.

[chai714]

His video collection has nothing to do with how he feels about you.

 

Don't confront him on this - it's part of his past. Do not relate this to you - it has nothing to do with you.

[nomoretears4uboo]

If your gonna say anything. And when he ask what you were doing with his phone. I would say, tell him you were gonna make a video or take some pictures to surprise him. then when you wanted to see how yours came out( which they sucked that's why there arent any on the phone) you like found the video of his ex.

[freedom]

It is a excuss. lame.

Yo know that it is his past. It is his things, naked or not.

None of your business unless you are wiling to destory all your past letters/gifts from all your ex's