alone again on a friday night

[sasha_faye]

3 weeks with NC. I haven't seen him in a month.

 

I looked up codependency. Definitely describes me. I blame myself for his depression and drug issues even though I shouldn't. While we were dating, I gave him everything without expecting anything in return. While I was at school (we go to colleges in neighboring cities and we lived only 30 minutes apart) he never called me or emailed me- and when he did, the messages were only a couple sentences long. I would send him little care packages (because it's fun to get things in the mail!) and he never said thank you. Even when I paid for his dinners (which was often) he never said thank you.

 

And now, almost a month after he dumped me, all he can say about the end of our relationship is that he hasn't "been laid in a while." Talk about objectifying me. (Other than that, he says to our mutual friends that I am "too painful to talk about.")

 

But here it is. Friday night. Our usual hang out time. Normally we'd be watching Mel Brooks movies on my couch and snuggling, but he's hanging out with one of my good girl friends and confiding in her about his depression instead. And I MISS HIM. Somehow, I can only think about the sweet things we did together... it's hard to think that maybe he took advantage of me.

 

Ugh. I just want to get over this and feel like a strong independent woman!

[Shaker]

I know this is naive, but I like to think that most people in relationships are in them for more noble reasons than being users. I think it's good that you're thinking about the positive aspects of the relationship still, but also thinking about the negative ones.

 

Just a thought, but maybe you should be making plans for your Friday nights for a while because it'll help break the routine you're used to of spending them with him, and move you closer to independence?

[sasha_faye]

I know he has a lot of problems and didn't mean to use me, but I still feel hurt and angry.

 

yeah. A lot of my friends have gone home to see family for the holidays, so I'm just sort of idling until after Christmas.

 

My ex lives a block away from my parents' house. Going home really, really sucks and it's impossible NOT to drive by his house. I really want to hang out with my family, but it's hard when I can look out my bedroom window and see the street he lives on. Buzzkill.

[need2bme]

YOU matter more though. Is it possible to say SC*** it all and see the family anyway?

 

I am alone to on Christmas and it BITES! Who should be alone on Christmas? Wait a tic, we aren't alone. We have each other and we have eNotAlone.

[ElegantOverkill]

Sasha. Dont let someone like that hold you back! You sound like you were a wonderful girlfriend and you deserve better!

 

My suggestion to you would be to go to your parents house for Christmas and as you drive by your ex's house lay on the horn and have your music cranked up and give a finger if you have to with a big smile and know in your heart that you will have someone 10x better some day!

 

and p.s i love some good old Mel Brooks myself!

[sasha_faye]

Sasha. Dont let someone like that hold you back! You sound like you were a wonderful girlfriend and you deserve better!

 

My suggestion to you would be to go to your parents house for Christmas and as you drive by your ex's house lay on the horn and have your music cranked up and give a finger if you have to with a big smile and know in your heart that you will have someone 10x better some day!

 

and p.s i love some good old Mel Brooks myself!

 

I love the drive by idea just because I have been fantisizing about it! Haha.

 

And who doesn't love a good old Mel Brooks movie on a friday night?

[sasha_faye]

YOU matter more though. Is it possible to say SC*** it all and see the family anyway?

 

I am alone to on Christmas and it BITES! Who should be alone on Christmas? Wait a tic, we aren't alone. We have each other and we have eNotAlone.

 

eNotAlone has helped me so much over the holidays! Misery loves company, I guess? It's nice to have a good support group, even from strangers...

 

I hope you have a good Christmas, need2bme.

[need2bme]

Merry Christmas to you too sweetie. Let us know how the "finger ride" goes. ;-)