TiredMan Posted December 26, 2006 Share Posted December 26, 2006 That summarizes all of my relationships to date...... good thing i'm a very "generous" person. I used to think that way but then realized, if these people want to be that way, I shouldn't be generous anymore. I am very generous only to those who reciprocate and/or deserve it. Link to comment
Shadows Light Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 I used to think that way but then realized, if these people want to be that way, I shouldn't be generous anymore. I am very generous only to those who reciprocate and/or deserve it. DITTO THAT. Link to comment
miracle29 Posted December 27, 2006 Author Share Posted December 27, 2006 I think the difference is the guy basically finishes on his own. Like when he doesn't, the responsibility doesn't fall on the woman the way it is the other way around.quote] I do NOT agree with this statement. Any woman who didn't feel like it was her problem, or responsibility didn't fall on her to help him get there....is selfish. This assumption is very insulting. I am so hell bound on him getting his, in return, I suffer for it getting the short end of the stick because I'm worried about his pleasure before my own. Most of the women I know are like this and would never be so closeminded to say "Oh well, he didnt climax, not my problem" They actually care about their mens satisfaction! A man who thinks it isnt his problem to help his woman climax, is not only selfish, but also dim when it comes to intimacy!... Link to comment
prtygrl1973 Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 lol - i always took it as a compliment!! That he just can't control himself when he is with me!! HEY, it makes me feel better!! lOL Ladies and Gentlemen! I'd like to know what you will say to this question. I want to know if MOST women are with or have dated men who don't last longer than 10 minutes. I mean is this the norm? And to the men, why is it so hard for a man these days to go the long haul. Don't we deserve more than a few minutes? Or is it just married sex that turns into a boring minute fest? Come clean ladies. Is it possible for a man to last longer than a few minutes...does it mean they are not trying...or is it really that hard? To the two men on the planet who don't last two minutes...congrats you are in the MINORITY! Link to comment
miracle29 Posted December 27, 2006 Author Share Posted December 27, 2006 The first time, yeah maybe, but years later... its no longer cute or funny. You see that he either has an issue with lasting long and needs help, or he's just a selfish schmuck who only cares about his own pleasure. I see this happens with long relationships a lot! Link to comment
prtygrl1973 Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 The first time, yeah maybe, but years later... its no longer cute or funny. You see that he either has an issue with lasting long and needs help, or he's just a selfish schmuck who only cares about his own pleasure. I see this happens with long relationships a lot! yea, that I agree with My husband, after he was on antidepressents -- it was horrible and I almost hated the fact that we even had sex cuz he could never finish! Link to comment
miracle29 Posted December 27, 2006 Author Share Posted December 27, 2006 More and More women are coming out of the woodworks admiting that they are not being satisfied. This is very sad. But I am happy to hear that Anit Love and a few other posters don't have to deal with this issue. Its nice to know that someone out there cares enough to at least attempt to control their climax! Link to comment
miracle29 Posted December 27, 2006 Author Share Posted December 27, 2006 yea, that I agree with My husband, after he was on antidepressents -- it was horrible and I almost hated the fact that we even had sex cuz he could never finish! At least Antidepressents is an actual excuse. Imagine him being very healthy and having no exuse. I've lost all of my extra Pregnancy weight. I've gotten my stomach back, my tight body back. I worked so hard for this. I am so happy with how i've reached my goals. I did it for me, for my daughter, but most of all, i did it for him. So that he could never say "you lost yourself". And after all that work and determination, he wont even go to the doctor or a store to get desensitising creams or anything to help last longer. I don't yell at him, i don't cheat, I'm a good mother, I don't use him for money, I clean, I cook, I even made amends with his best friend after a long bout of silence because he was rude and disrespectful. I did that for him too....and yet and still....he wont clean up his act. I'm starting to think about that song by Beyonce"....to the left...to the left.. Link to comment
prtygrl1973 Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 More and More women are coming out of the woodworks admiting that they are not being satisfied. This is very sad. But I am happy to hear that Anit Love and a few other posters don't have to deal with this issue. Its nice to know that someone out there cares enough to at least attempt to control their climax! i have been married for 11 years and it was only when he was on the antidepressants when things were hard for us. I am going to write up my story in a couple days or maybe tomorrow. My husband and I have "been there done that" when it comes to sex, now we get to face the consequences!! FUN (sarcastic) Link to comment
TiredMan Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 I do NOT agree with this statement. Any woman who didn't feel like it was her problem, or responsibility didn't fall on her to help him get there....is selfish. This assumption is very insulting. I am so hell bound on him getting his, in return, I suffer for it getting the short end of the stick because I'm worried about his pleasure before my own. Most of the women I know are like this and would never be so closeminded to say "Oh well, he didnt climax, not my problem" They actually care about their mens satisfaction! A man who thinks it isnt his problem to help his woman climax, is not only selfish, but also dim when it comes to intimacy!... Well it's true whether you or anyone agrees with it. In many cases, it's the guy's rhythm that decides this. In almost every single position (other than woman on top and variations of that), it IS the guy who controls the rhythm and all of that. There are plenty of women who usually only like it missionary where it's all in his hands. Back to what i said. The responsiblity does fall on the guy. He doesn't LET IT become hers. There are so many women out there (whether they are shy, really inexperienced, brought up religious or whatever reason) that just lay on their back and that is intercourse. What I'm saying is that if it takes the guy let's say 10 minutes to finish and the women 25 minutes to finish. Why is it that the guy is too fast rather than the woman being too slow? I'm sure there are plenty of women out there not satisfied but there are just as many, if not more men unsatisfied but they will never bring it up for fear of losing whatever they are getting at the time. Link to comment
prtygrl1973 Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 wow - you sound like me!! lol I am getting my back to the gym tonight. (long story short, he cheated on me - which is why i am here) we went to counseling etc etc I GOT TALKED INTO getting on the stupid meds and put on 30 lbs. I still look good but not tight so I got to get back there. I have a butt and boobs now! LOL I have a lot of running and working out to do --- In all honesty i am 5ft 45 and weight 148. I only weighed 149 when i had my first kid!! my goal is to get back to 120-125 - i don't think it will take long, just got to get focused!! Link to comment
prtygrl1973 Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 I forgot, when he was off them and really didn't have a desire to have sex - now looking back, it was when he was sleeping with someone else! Link to comment
TiredMan Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 And after all that work and determination, he wont even go to the doctor or a store to get desensitising creams or anything to help last longer. Why should he use desensitizing creams? Why not use a toy on yourself to speed yourself up during sex? Link to comment
miracle29 Posted December 27, 2006 Author Share Posted December 27, 2006 Have you ever heard of the expression "Reality, is just a shared opinion"? You deem your opinion to be true, and thats a limited view. But I'm not going to make this whole post about you and I. Been there, done got the t'shirt! So i'll just stay on topic here and say...I do not agree, wont agree and I'm sure many others would say that folly. ..... BUT IT IS NICE TO know that women are not the only ones who feel that there is a one sided thing going on here. Its really good to hear that men are not happy sometimes too. Makes me feel better to know that i'm not alone. And that its not just a WOMAN thing! Link to comment
TiredMan Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 I am getting my back to the gym tonight. (long story short, he cheated on me - which is why i am here) we went to counseling etc etc I GOT TALKED INTO getting on the stupid meds and put on 30 lbs. I still look good but not tight so I got to get back there. I have a butt and boobs now! LOL I have a lot of running and working out to do --- In all honesty i am 5ft 45 and weight 148. I only weighed 149 when i had my first kid!! my goal is to get back to 120-125 - i don't think it will take long, just got to get focused!! You seem motivated to get in shape. Just don't overdo it and end up hurting yourself. So many people want it so fast and so badly, they do more than they can handle (especially after a hiatus from the gym) and then get hurt which causes a long delay in a return. Link to comment
miracle29 Posted December 27, 2006 Author Share Posted December 27, 2006 Why should he use desensitizing creams? Why not use a toy on yourself to speed yourself up during sex? I believe in MIDDLE path. Comprimise! Link to comment
TiredMan Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 Have you ever heard of the expression "Reality, is just a shared opinion"? You deem your opinion to be true, and thats a limited view. But I'm not going to make this whole post about you and I. Been there, done got the t'shirt! So i'll just stay on topic here and say...I do not agree, wont agree and I'm sure many others would say that folly. ..... BUT IT IS NICE TO know that women are not the only ones who feel that there is a one sided thing going on here. Its really good to hear that men are not happy sometimes too. Makes me feel better to know that i'm not alone. And that its not just a WOMAN thing! So what you are saying is that you had no idea that men are unhappy about these things too? I'm glad I am not in a situation like this anymore but over the years, I can't tell you how many things guy friends have told me that they would NEVER dare say to the women they were with because they knew if they did, whatever sex they were getting (no matter how lousy it was) would end. And ok sex is better than none from their POV. Link to comment
TiredMan Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 I believe in MIDDLE path. Comprimise! Compromise is always good and I am a big believer in that. have you gotten the toy thing then to use during to show YOUR part in the compromise to him? Link to comment
miracle29 Posted December 27, 2006 Author Share Posted December 27, 2006 I forgot, when he was off them and really didn't have a desire to have sex - now looking back, it was when he was sleeping with someone else! Good point. I would not be surprised if my husband had something going on the side. To be honest with you, if I found that out, I'd be relieved...because then I would know..that my gut instinct was right the entire time. And I would make a solid move...instead of going back and forth, because he's not man enough to admit, what I can't prove in tangibles but can gather by actions! Link to comment
miracle29 Posted December 27, 2006 Author Share Posted December 27, 2006 So what you are saying is that you had no idea that men are unhappy about these things too? I'm glad I am not in a situation like this anymore but over the years, I can't tell you how many things guy friends have told me that they would NEVER dare say to the women they were with because they knew if they did, whatever sex they were getting (no matter how lousy it was) would end. And ok sex is better than none from their POV. This is deep. I am so happy to know this. I think women may have thought that all (how do i say this tactfully?) women ..have the same good stuff. Thats not true, some women don't know how to work their stuff, but because the men are like you said, being quiet about it....they think they are irreplaceble, not knowing that he's getting his happy kicks from someone else who's newer, better, refreshing and shes thinking its all about her. And saddest part is...even if she has incredible stuff,once he's had it so long...its old to him. And even a mediocre "stuff" will do it for him, when she's out the game due to longevity! Hummm I may have the anwer I didn't want to hear! Link to comment
miracle29 Posted December 27, 2006 Author Share Posted December 27, 2006 wow - you sound like me!! lol I am getting my back to the gym tonight. (long story short, he cheated on me - which is why i am here) we went to counseling etc etc I GOT TALKED INTO getting on the stupid meds and put on 30 lbs. I still look good but not tight so I got to get back there. I have a butt and boobs now! LOL I have a lot of running and working out to do --- In all honesty i am 5ft 45 and weight 148. I only weighed 149 when i had my first kid!! my goal is to get back to 120-125 - i don't think it will take long, just got to get focused!! The fact that he was willing to go to Counseling...gives me the impression that he still cares for you. If a man cheated on me and TOLD me before I could find out from the grapevine, he's have a hell of a better chance for me to forgive him then if he denied it. Because all that lieng and denial, was be it for me. I'd want nothing to do with him....if he confessed i'd know he was willing to lose me......to be honest! Which holds a hell of a lot more weight with me then..."deny till you die". Link to comment
prtygrl1973 Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 Speaking of creams --- the BEST STUFF FOR A WOMAN is called VIVA - I am telling you, I kind of had the "i don't want to use it" attitude and he put it on me anyway.... well put it this way -- it is awesome and if you are one that is "sensative" to creams and whatnot -- this stuff is great!!!! For the guy too --- i could cum without even being touched!! LOL Link to comment
TiredMan Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 This is deep. I am so happy to know this. I think women may have thought that all (how do i say this tactfully?) women ..have the same good stuff. Thats not true, some women don't know how to work their stuff, but because the men are like you said, being quiet about it....they think they are irreplaceble, not knowing that he's getting his happy kicks from someone else who's newer, better, refreshing and shes thinking its all about her. Hummm I may have the anwer I didn't want to hear! Well the reason for this is that usually women get more emotional. There are exceptions but that is usually the case. So when you tell a woman something negative (no matter how you phrase it) she usually can't handle this. Probably because growing up, guys have been always been nice to her, trying to "get with her". So when you get the opposite of what you know, you don't know how to handle it. I can't even tell you how many things I have heard over the years. About lousy BJ's mostly. And every time I ask, the answer has been the same. They think just because of the result, that it was a good one. Funniest part is that I thought they were all good until I went out with someone who was so good at it, I could have taken 40 of them a day. I was just in shock. I later asked her about it (year after we were dating). Her ex and her watch many many adult movies and she tried out everything she saw until she got it lol. Anyway, back to the point. If the woman you love or are with isn't good, a guy won't risk telling her because they wouldn't want to risk losing what they have. It's that simple. Of course, some women would understand and everything but they don't want to take that risk. I have noticed a change in your tone. Are you thinking your guy is cheating on you now? Link to comment
prtygrl1973 Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 You seem motivated to get in shape. Just don't overdo it and end up hurting yourself. So many people want it so fast and so badly, they do more than they can handle (especially after a hiatus from the gym) and then get hurt which causes a long delay in a return. thanks, yea I know all about that stuff, i used to be a gung ho'er in the gym (first time i have used that term) so i know to go slow... the motivation to go is just getting back to me (i am 3 weeks off the meds) so i am still having withdrawl symptoms but I am getting there...... Link to comment
miracle29 Posted December 27, 2006 Author Share Posted December 27, 2006 thanks, yea I know all about that stuff, i used to be a gung ho'er in the gym (first time i have used that term) so i know to go slow... the motivation to go is just getting back to me (i am 3 weeks off the meds) so i am still having withdrawl symptoms but I am getting there...... He is right about that. I took my time doing it the right way. I ate healthy, still nursed my daughter (which i found out later, working out could hurt nursing...) and lost it the right way. If you put too much pressure on yourself..chances are you will fail! Link to comment
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