what's wrong with me?

[hoodlifestyle]

I'm 16 and i just moved like 20 miles away from "home". Well i'm very shy and I don't talk much. I just can't talk, it's like... I can't find anything to say to people and at times there are akward silences when people try to make conversation with me but it wasn't all that bad at my old home and school 'cause even though I was shy I was amazingly very known, respected and liked. I had a crew I used to roll with and hang out after school. It was all gravy. Then last year I had to move to another city and transfer to another school. Since I don't talk I barely have friends now, i mean I know a couple of people & they know me but I have no crew or group of friends anymore. Everyday I go to my locker and str8 to class I don't make a stop to talk to anybody or anything like that because every where I want to go and talk to they are with someone else and I feel like the 3rd wheel. I feel like sh**. I feel unwanted. I even had a real good friend that was tru blu for awhile and then he just ignored me like i never existed. It was basically like that with all the people i met at this new school. I 've been going to this school for a year 1/2 but I've made no progress. I feel so lonely and I feel like people pity me because of my social disability. I hate myself. I've never had suicide thoughts before and i truly believe that people who commit suicide go to hell. But now i wish everyday that i would get shot in the head or get bashed by a car and be instantly killed. I've attempted to slash my wrists but couldn't bare to actually do. I figure that if i died in a tragic accident or killed myself, no one would ever mourn for me or give a f**k. There are some nights that i lay in my bed and cry myself to sleep, and i'm the kind of guy that takes alot to make me cry. I don't know if i hate my new school or myself . I wish that school would blow up with everybody in it except me... i would just laugh i wouldn't care at all about those f*****s. I hate this whole damn city as a matter a fact. I don't go out anymore and i just hang around in the basement with the lights out and watch t.v. I pretend to be happy at school and at home but deep down inside I'm depressed and I just can't find a reason to live. I have a gun 'cause in my old neghborhood u got 2 watch ur back for sh**. I'm tempted to use it I really am. I'm sorry 4 my bitchin' but I don't know where to turn 2 my parents wouldn't understand and I have no friends. Please give me advise.

[some bozo]

Holy crap ok man listen to me. i am just like you except 13 and have never moved. Anyway listen do not i repeat do not kill your self like you said "youll go to hell". we dont want that listen you dont have friends because you dont talk you must communicate with people or else you life will be a living hell

[Punished Angel]

No one can really help you in a situation like this, but yourself. Your not helping yourself by not talking to other poeple and socializing. You ouviously have lack of confidence,but not everyone is the same,so for goodness sake, talk to poeple. ,,,There are poelpe that love you ,you just dont see it.

[neva_black_n_white]

hey hoodlifestyle,

 

do not kill yourself, trust me people will mourn they will cry and they feel exactly how you feel right now (and you yourself obviously know that isnt a great feeling). personally i feel that it seems like you do want to socialize like you said you just feel like the third wheel, well why not take that chance, say what you have to say and meet new people. to be shy isnt the end of the world and shouldnt relate into the reason of being the end of yours. everyone has their qualities and everyone is missed so please dont kill yourself.

 

try out new clubs like other members said, get out of your basement and meet new people. live your life. we all have different stages that we have to over come and this is yours it will get better. schools always hard (i know because im in it, and i can say from a person seen as quite loud and gets along with people, that also isnt the best thing. to some people myself and my friends are shy but they have yet to know them as they are).

 

it seems you need to get out there say hi to the people in the corridoor get yourself a crew and show people the real you, dont hide away and dont use a gun or anything else to kill yourself. youve commented on it taking you to hell and im guessing you dont want it so please dont try it. when times are hard come and talk to people on here. Pm/ email/hotmail/aim me i can talk to you. trust me there are people who want to help you and you will make some great mates. everyone at this forums are here to help

 

hope this helps and im here if you want to talk, just dont give up.

 

~kel

[segagirl]

Hi, you sound quite upset and I am sorry to hear that.

Everyone gave great advice. I wonder if it is falling on Deaf ears however.

It is true to have to take the steps to make your life better. I know that first step seems impossible, but really I know you can do it.

 

Since everyone has addressed the issues in great detail, I do feel the need to comment of "wishing the school would blow up and everyone would die". I hope this statement was to express your pain.

See here in the US this happens too often so I am trained to take it as serious. Kids are dying in our school system at the hands of kids who feel left out, or depressed. School should be safe, and if you feel this badly, I beg of you to ask for some help from someone, anyone.

Other kids, no matter how much you hate them are human as well, with pain, depression, sadness, hopelessness...but also they are deserving of life...of a chance to have a life. So this comment, even in jest...It not one to take lightly.