SquareWheel progress report: A real Christmas Miracle?

[SquareWheel]

Hey everyone... just have a small update on my progress. In my ongoing struggle to find a first experience, I joined one of the adult dating websites and posted a profile explaining my situation as a 40-something virgin.

 

The weekend my paid membership was activated, I sent e-mails to about 60 women. I got several replies, which thrilled me beyond description. Most were automated replies saying no thanks, but a few were nice hand-typed notes.

 

But I found two women who were interested. Both said they were students and had busy lives, which ruled out any kind of relationship. But they miss having regular sex, so they're looking for a friends-with-benefits arrangement. That'd be a dream come true for me.

 

I've chatted with one on Yahoo, and then talked with her on the phone for well over an hour. We were going to arrange to meet for dinner today (Saturday), but she was held up and couldn't make it. I was crushed! But tonight I got a Yahoo message from her and I'm going to call her again tomorrow.

 

God I'm excited! I've never felt so close to realizing my dream! She and I actually talked openly about our need for sex on the phone; I couldn't believe I was talking that way. So... if we are able to meet for dinner tomorrow... and we both feel right about each other... It's intoxicating to think of the possibilities. It actually feels like it could be close to really happening sometime soon. It's starting to feel so real!

 

And this time of year too... It'd be a real Christmas miracle! Wish me luck, everybody!

[RayKay]

Well, remember that sharing a NEED for sex is not the same as having actual chemistry together in person, or DESIRE for it together.

 

Good luck tomorrow....be careful though too; don't let your guard down entirely in the rush to do this. I hope things turn out as you expect; though I have to admit my idea of a "miracle" is quite different than yours!

[SquareWheel]

Thanks, RayKay, you're pretty sharp and I respect your opinions, so I'm flattered that you answered my post. And I'm not expecting "it" to happen tomorrow; we're probably just going to check each other out and then plan where to go from there.

 

And I'm sure it's no big deal to those of you to whom it comes so easily, but it's the holy grail to me; the dream of a lifetime. Heck, for me, sex has always something to fantasize about, not something that I've ever felt I could actually do. For long years there, I'd pretty much given up all hope of ever experiencing it at all. There've actually been times when I wondered if it was really only an urban legend.

 

But I'm making a real effort now, and if I actually beat the odds, I'll be the happiest and most excited guy in the world. I won't care if I get run over by a truck the next day; my life will be complete. Everyone tells me to expect to be disappointed, but I just know it'd be the one pivotal, defining moment in my life that I'll still remember when I'm a little old man in the nursing home.

[SquareWheel]

Well, it's happened again. I've spent my life missing by an inch, and I see that hasn't changed. I called her twice again today and she didn't answer. Well, in view of my history, I'd have been amazed if it'd actually come to a real meeting, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that it fell through. It's the story of my life.

 

Man this is disappointing! I'm trying awfully hard to stay optimistic, but it's really hard not to think that I was destined from birth to go through my entire life a virgin. It's like some things just weren't meant to happen. I've learned to expect this from life, but it still hurts.

[Baby Carrot]

Hey! Don´t beat yourself up!

 

It's like some things just weren't meant to happen. I've learned to expect this from life, but it still hurts.

Maybe you get that from life, cuz that´s all your expecting. Don't mean to be raw, but seems to me that your attitude is not helping. Is not about being 100% optimistic 24/7, and then get all negative and bummed out cuz one attempt didn´t work. From excited, to crushed, to excited, to crushed as u said.

 

Is about being realistic and not taking everything personal.

 

You´re already on your path of meeting women, and that´s the most important step.

 

You were talking about marketing yourself or something like that remember? Well, if you see, 90% of times costumers reject the product. Does that stop the tradesmen? Nope. They try over and over again, until the product is successful. They´re prepared to lose, cuz that´s what it takes to win. Is not practical to feel crushed.

 

If you are taking your chances to get your prize, you have to learn to lose as well. Is simply part of the game. Is not destiny, is not the universe kicking your butt. Is simply ONE woman from the millions of women in the world that didn´t answer her phone. Big deal.

 

Go for the next! Now! Go! Finish whinig about this one and go get another one! Don´t let this aborted mission stop you from keeping expanding your reality and getting what you want.

[SquareWheel]

Thanks for the feedback, BC. I do often worry that I'm coming accross as too pessimistic or depressive when I post. It's probably because I tend to post only when I have something unhappy on my mind. And your encouraging thoughts do me good too.

 

And you're absolutely right about about projecting a positive image. I was pretty creative in composing my dating site profile text, and the e-mails I'm sending out. I don't want to sound needy, or like I'm begging for favors. I'm putting a very positive spin on my virginity.

 

And I do think a virgin can offer some very special and positive things as a partner, both practical and emotional. I'm hesitant to list them here because it'd sound like self-promotion, but I think I can make a pretty good case for virgins as partners.

 

So I'm not giving up, this is just a disappointment, not the end of my quest. I'm sure that if I just keep plodding forward, sooner or later I'll find what everyone else has, and then I'll be posting the happiest post in the history of this forum.

[Luke Skywalker]

See if your adult dating site has a blog, or anything that you can write on, other than your profile to express yourself. When I was on adultfriendfinder, I made a blog called '30 days to lose my virginity', and chronicalled my frustrations and challenges on trying to find someone. Furthermore, I also did a campaign of sending messages around to people asking them if they would like to help me out.

 

In the beginning, nothing worked out, and the first few weeks, I may have had one prospect that dissipitated, and then afterwards two serious prospects that gave me their cell # and returned my emails. This occurred after about three weeks, and I flaked out on them at the end of the day because I was not ready for this, it is against my fundamental core values, and my dad did not support the idea, although I was close to snapping more because I was pissed that another girl I knew lost her virginity to some jerk who lied to her and wanted to get even by losing mine with a wh0re and telling her about it.

 

To ease things, I purposed that I would use a hooker at the end of the 30 days if it didn't work out or on alternative buy further into link removed with Payton Kane and go to the Dominican Republics for a seminar on seduction at a Club in the Domenican Republics, or Costa Rico Mexico, or in mall seductin - as well as their DVD's, CD's and other products, (the hooker was cheaper option though and would have likely leaned on that direction i.e. if you look at that website, products are EXPENSIVE - $300 US +, seminar at caribbean or in-person seminars, expensive, while an escort would have been about a hundred) even wrote about it, and put up ads on craiglist.

 

IT took the pressure off knowing that I would pay for a guaranteed lay if nothing worked out or buy into the seduce and conquer program further. I also let myself view porn DVD's, movie internet porn, hardcore and softcore porn, and view escort-pics and to on escort boards for a specific time period (Oct 25th - November 29th). At the end of the day, I wasn't ready to meet and pursue real girls what were interested in sex in the first date, anywhere, and that was it. If I really wanted to, I'd have to break all the rules of this house that I live at, risk breaking my mom's heart forever, and act like I was taking out RE clients and stay at the office, but go elsewhere, for this to have worked out.

 

The point I'm making, however, is that it took a few weeks for it to work out. You just have yours out for a few days or whatever, but you have to keep trying and putting yourself out there for it to work. However, I do not support this as you should marry someone first, but everyone's belief is different.

 

Let us know how you are doing.

[Luke Skywalker]

Squarewheel,

 

Also have some fun. Buy a Santa Clause hat and make some pics and put them out. Christmas season. Try the headline Santa Clause is cuming to town and wants to spank bad girls, or something, and write the rest of your profile in. Good luck, rememeber the fun is in expressing yourself, and if you are having fun, that's what counts.

 

What made my time last year on adultfriendfinder is I enjoyed expressing myself, and you should enjoy that too.

[quietgrl]

Good luck Square(kiss on the side of your face)

[SquareWheel]

Thanks for the encouragement, Luke and QG. I chatted with another girl from AFF the past two nights, and we were very frank about what we wanted. Showed herself (not explicitly) on a webcam. She lives in a town about 150 miles away and works the night shift at a hotel. We were planning to meet there when her shift ended at midnight saturday and get a room to get together in, but again, it fell through.

 

She was called away in our chat last night before we could make the final arrangements, and never returned. This is getting to be a habit. I'm beginning to wonder if any of the women who advertise on those sex sites are serious, or if they are serious but get cold feet at the last minute.

 

Still, it is a bit encouraging to me that I've been able to actually interact with a few women, and that I've discovered that I can openly discuss sex with them. A few years ago, I couldn't have made myself even talk about dating or any other romantic topic with a woman; I was that reserved. So I've made a lot of progress.

 

I suspect it's a lot easier for younger folks; I think younger women are a lot more adventurous and a lot more open to casual intimacy than women approaching/entering middle age.

 

Oh, well... I just extended my gold membership on AFF for another month, so the search goes on. Stay tuned, folks...

[quietgrl]

Square,

 

 

You're driving me crazy here!!!!!!!!!You're telling me there is no sex clubs in your area or a regular club where people hook up for sex.

Why are you wasting your time on AFF get your butt out there.Thiss is the perfect time to get laid Square Sunday night(New year Eve).I want you to start planning now because you have 24 hours baby.I want you to hit every club tomorrow night.It's time you show yout naughty self offline instead of online.

Hmmm how about telling these young ladies.How about we celebrate the New year in style or how about telling these young women that you're on a mission to lost your virginity before 2007.Everybody going to be in a happy celebrating mood.Yep, the perfect mood to get laid.

[candy604]

make sure these women don't have any diseases. Are you able to join a local dating service? i'm sure there's some around! or just even try to make friends with women ( no dating intention) so you are used to talking to women?