help! i need so much help. i dont know what to do

[bby1326]

im so heart broken. me and my girlfriend have been dating for the past 9 months and in the last month shes told me that im not the guy she pictured she'd be with and that shes been tempted to cheat on me but wont because she loves me. shes told me shes cheated on all of her boyfriends. well heres my problem. in the last 2-3 weeks ive noticed her change. ever since she got a job shes a changed person. well, shes been awfully close to new guys from work and even my friends. the other night she went to a movie, alone, with one of my guy friends and i was home sick. lately i've sensed shes doing something behind my back. a few months ago she told me her password to her myspace and being curious, i logged on it. what i found shocked me. lately shes been trying to talk to him and pretty much flirting. shes been calling him cute and saying she misses him and that she wants to give him her #. tonight i found a message where she called him hot stuff, said she missed his cute face and cant wait to see him at work again and that she hopes he dreams well...im crushed. i know something is going on but I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!! please help. do i confront her and tell her ive been reading her myspace or do i let this go and feel humiliated???? HELP!](*,)

[jessicake]

i am so sorry for your situation!!!

 

i will think about it and post again a bit later.. i just thought to post something small so that you know someone is here for you!

[xmrth]

You could get away with just telling her off concluding you heard about her saying all those things. Would she know you logged into it, though? It could conclude the other guy told people, and maybe he did, and maybe she did. But this is what you're breaking up over so you should definitely express it. Just try to do it in another way from the fact you logged onto that stupid website in her account because she could use that against you. Basically, make it so she can't use any of it against you but make it -clear- that you KNOW what you know.

[freedom]

Sorry to hear tht you are going through this.

THis is the way i look at it, there is not point staying with someone that doesnt want to be with you.

In my opinion you dont have to explain about the myspace login at all, it was just a means to an end.

It is prety clear that she doesnt want to be wit you because she has said that she has thought about cheating on you, worst still she has a histroy of cheating. So why put yourself throught the hurt by hanging on to somethig that doesnt want you?

I know it hurt to let go, but in this situation letting go earlier would be better then hanging on to thin air.

 

I suppose the way to go about ending it (if you choose it) is to end it because the feelings are not mutual and the fact that she though of cheating on you indicates that.

[Vincent_Benton]

You already know what to do bby; make a choice. You can choose to stay in a relationship that looks as if it isn't going to get anywhere, except maybe you being another cheated on b/f to add to the list. Or, you can choose to end this now, move on, find someone who CAN picture themselves being with you.

 

You can tell her whatever you want, it doesn't matter, IF, you make the choice to move forwards. If you're planning on working through this then I'd take a line from xmrth and make it crystal that you know what you know and it needs to be resolved, now.

 

Perhaps I'm not being very fair, but from what you've said so far it doesn't sound as if she's being very fair and I can't stand women who play those kinds of bullshiit games.

[jessicake]

i think that you need to figure out whether you want to be with someone who will be cruel to you.

 

i mean...emotional abuse is just not right!!

you can continue to keep getting hurt by her but that way you will still be holding on... or you can break up with her and go through a few weeks or months of heart break but emerge as a stronger and better person who will stick up for themself.

 

it does make it hard because theres the whole privacy issue.. how you are not respecting her 'space', but she did indirectly invite you to go in because she gave you her password... its still a bit dodgy but it depends on how open you guys are in your relationship. And from you have written, it seems that she is not that open with you....