Forgiveness - can you answer me this, what is it?

[crookster_man]

Hello enotalone members and guests. Earlier today I was talking about forgiveness, and what it meant to me. I was hoping to get some discussion going, but I fear I might have overwhelmed people with a long post (I have a habit of doing that). Anyways, I really want to see what people think about the power of forgiveness.

 

So my question is this. "What is forgiveness, what does it do and how can we forgive those who have harmed us so?"

[segagirl]

Queen Elizabeth I said.. God may forgive you but I never can. And she poor thing was a strong but, hateful woman.

 

To forgive is to free your own spirit from the cage of hate. It is the only way to find peace with a situation...to find peace with yourself.

 

Forgiveness is done simply to free YOU from it all....its letting go.

[Baffler Meal]

I read your earlier post and I agreed with everything you wrote but I didn't want to just post a one-liner. It was a good post. Please don't be hesitant to keep on writing like that.

 

I'll share my experience with forgiveness. When I was at the absolute lowest place I can imagine, writing my suicide letter, I experienced some of the release that forgiveness can bring. In crafting this letter, which was written only to my ex, I was able to forgive her to some extent. I had wanted her to know that my suicide would not be her fault. I didn't want her to feel guilty for it and I wasn't doing it to punish her. I just wanted to stop the unbearable pain. I felt that she caused the bad feelings, but it was me who couldn't handle them effectively. My actions subsequent to her leaving me were in no way her responsibility. After I wrote this, I started feeling better and trying to find ways to cope.

 

You are absolutely right regarding our feelings as a form of undetectable punishment we exact on those who have hurt us. I think that just because you forgive someone it doesn't necessarily mean that you don't want something bad to happen to them or don't hope that they will reap the consequences of their actions somehow. Family members of murder victims have been known to express forgiveness towards murderers, but it doesn't mean they want them out of prison. They just have to get on with their lives.

 

Forgiveness the way we are discussing it is not about the other person, it is about us. It is not some universal pardon where you wish the person the best suddenly. You just release the blaming because the object of the blame can't help the recovery-it's just an impossibility. As far fetched as recovery seems at times, the chances that you can manage it far infinitely greater than the chances of the person who hurt you being able to fix it. Even if my girlfriend came back to me, and wanted to help, I know that she would not be able to heal me. It would still be up to me.

Forgiveness dissolves a blockage in the healing process. You ultimately must deal with the problem by yourself, and only by feeling forgiveness can you understand this.

 

I can't answer the question of how we can forgive. For me it just happened without planning. I had reached a breaking point when the realization that blame wasn't going to get me anywhere occurred.

[swift44]

Forgiveness is a step toward inner peace and peace with others without it people would be too busy being mad at people for past offenses to ever lety anything go and everyone would be bitter and probally resort to revenge and violence. we must learn to resort only to forgiveness. God has forgiven us countless times and we should learn to forgive them as God did for us .