Letting myself down

[street]

this week i have really let myself down, last week i was so positive that i was moving on after 3 months of split. but this week has been hard, it would have been r 4 year anniversiy this week and also her b'day...i still miss her so much..i phoned her 2day we chatted..telling me what she is getting up to...out all nite drinking with a new set of friends i don't approve of to be honest..but its not my problem..but it still hurts..

 

don't think she has a new man in her life as i think she wants to play the field abit, don't know which i would prefer her to do mind u!!it just sounds like she has moved on and is having a great time where heres me feeling really down again!

 

sorry people i feel like i have let myself down..will try and stay positive!

[crookster_man]

1. Don't worry about getting down here and there. Recovering from a break-up, especially of a long-term relationship is hard. 3 months? Don't beat yourself up. You will have down days, it is completely natural. Try to be positive, just bare through the though days, there will be sunny ones around the corner.

 

2. She is moving on, as are you. She does feel for you to. She has her up days and her down days. Don't worry about it. Your relationship most likely meant something to her to. So of course she will feel down. She will cringe when you go out with some other girl too. It's natural.

[ashley4414]

I think that is perfectly normal how you are feeling and i am sure she probably has some of them same feeling seeing that you 2 have had a very long relationship.. i find that pretty interesting that a guy is saying that cuz i just always hear about girls missing there men and the guys really not thinking anything about it.. i am sure if you would let her know your feelings you would feel a lot better!! and maybe something might end up working out!! there still has to be SOMETHING there for having such a long relationship!!

[sisterlynch]

It is process of baby steps. Sometimes you need to feel the pain of rejection to remember where you have been and to remind yourself of why you have chosen to move forward. Our brain seeks reliable sourses of stimulation, and so we go to those places looking for those who we knew to greet us, but the place is the same, yet noone remembers your name.

[street]

well i found out she is going out for her b'day bash this friday nite, she hasn't invited most of are friends, but not invited me...i thought we were staying mates!! oh well not sure if i would have gone but nice to be invited, im proplay being well too sensitive over this but its how i feel.

[mfurb33]

Hang in there, Street...I feel for ya, sometimes you go a week and feel the greatest you ever have, then something sneaks in your mind and you're back to square one! lol....Do you think it's best to still be talking to her like you are? I mean, sounds like there's still some feelings there and chatting with her brought them back up. It's great that you want to be mates with her and all....but maybe you could use a little more time away from contact with her? Just a suggestion....either way, you'll be okay! We all we be....

[street]

the talking has to stop its not really helping me recover, once the her b'day is over then i feel i can really start to heal..trouble is my confidence is shot!! i just don't like what i see in the mirror, ive never been the most confident person..but this has taken whatever little confidence i had and thrown it out the window...

 

i have to get back liking myself before i can think about being with someone else

[mfurb33]

Yeah man, that'd probably be the best thing to do first and foremost, is to start getting your confidence back. I don't know if you did the same, but I dropped 13 pounds off my already thin frame when me and my girl broke up. I didn't like what I saw in the mirror, either. But then there just comes a time when you look in that mirror one too many times and say, "Wait a second, look at what I'm doing to myself. Enough is enough." Get cocky with yourself (keep it to yourself though, so you don't come off as an @sshole! lol!) Tell yourself that you're good looking, that you can pick up any chick, that it was your ex's loss, not yours. You may not believe this stuff that you're saying, but after awhile, you may start to lean a little more towards that way of thinking....and it's a whole h*ll of a lot better than wallowing in negative thoughts about a situation you can't change. Realize the power you have to control your thoughts, happiness and sadness. It wasn't your ex who made you happy and confident...that was coming from you. You just need to find out how to get there again, without her around.

[street]

thanks for that ur right...her loss and all that!!

 

i have alot to offer someone else..just need to keep telling myself that!!

 

i can't lose much more weight pretty skinny anyway, though im starting to put my muscle back on and im also updating my wardrobe so im trying to improve myself which is what u need to do in this situation...thanks for the pep talk!

[mfurb33]

'Atta boy!! Get out there and live your life and be happy Street! When it boils down to it, you have 2 ways, and only 2 ways to deal with something like this.

1. Sit around, moping and waiting for her to come around and re-kindle the 'love' that you had...living your life waiting for her...(when you know after all this time, is it ever going to be like it was again? Probably not. You just want her back so YOU can feel better about yourself again! That's not a healthy love!)

2. Go out....enjoy your life! Be happy! Do things that you want to do...don't have anything to do or anywhere to go? Then make the most out of what you can do and where you can go! Don't stop your life over this. Yeah, it sucks, and yeah, that seems impossible....but that's because you are sooooo convinced that you need this person in your life to make you as happy as you were when you were together. So why not convince yourself that you DON'T need her to make you that happy!?

Street, you're in complete control of your own 'emotional destiny'! lol! It's time to do things for you now...things that make you happy...things that give you confidence and put a smile on your face. Great job on working on the muscle and the wardrobe...I mean, why not make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex AND improve your health at the same time? Exercise is a GREAT confidence booster! I don't know if you've ran accross this in the forum before, but maybe this will help out when you need a little boost. You're gonna' be alright man! Check out this link....

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