I Cant take this anymore

[SweetaThanCandy]

I just left my ex house, I went over there because I was talking to him on the phone earlier and he was convincing me to get back with him. He was crying and pleading with me and when I wouldnt budge he started saying how if he didnt have me he didnt want to be here and he didnt want to live without me. He was wailing and he said he would just do everyone a favor and not be here anymore. So I went over there and he gained him composure and we talked. I was basically saying the same thing that I cant do this anymore and I just want to be friends and he kept talking about no one loves him. This is tearing me up inside because I do love him and I care about him, and I miss him so much but I cant put myself in a risk of being abused again. He told me that he found out what made him do it and it was the devil and that he dealt with him and prayed and the devil is out of him now. But how do I know? What is it happens again and it's worse. I'm so scared, I'm so hurt, how can he say that I dont love him and care about him. Just because I'm not with him doesnt mean that I dont love him. I just dont understand why this happening to me, I got too much stuff going on I got 2 finals tomorrow and I told him that I needed to study and its 6:14 and I just left his house and I havnt studied nothing. I cant think straight, why is he putting me through this. Why? I dont know who to talk to no one really know's everything that he's done to me, the abuse. And I dont really want to talk to no one about it because I'm just so ashamed. He keeps telling me he's changed and that he is a good person and I do think he is a good person. He just got abusive when he was mad. He was always there for me the abuse was the only problem he never put me down verbally or anything. He just has that one problem, maybe things will be better this time. I feel like I should just believe him and go back with him. I'm just so tired of hurting and crying, I dont know what to do.

[agualibre777]

what he is doing IS abuse. of course. threatening to kill himself with the main intent to keep you is abusive. yeah, he has problems. but they aren't yours anymore. you might want to get a restraining order. he needs to learn how to change but you aren't going to be the person to change him, and it will probably take him years of therapy... SINGLE.

[radioheader]

i'm not an expert on abusive situations but i do know that you can love someone and leave them/not be in a realtionship with them...sounds like he needs heavy therapy to address his issues...wouldn't hurt for you to talk to someone confidentially either...you deserve support in this kind of situation...im sure there are counselors available to students...

 

and i definitely agree with the other member saying that his threat of ending his life is abusive to you emotionally...you do not deserve that...

[Survictor]

what he is doing IS abuse. of course. threatening to kill himself with the main intent to keep you is abusive....

 

My sentiments, exactly.

 

This is one of those men that will exploit your kindness. He sees kindness as weakness and is exploiting that. You and he are not of the same mindset. Your methods of dealing with things are very different. Your ideas of love are completely different. You cannot change that. Stop feeling guilty. You are not the one abusing him.

 

He is emotionally blackmailing you to get what he wants. Emotional blackmail is ABUSE as sure as smacking you is, as sure as withholding affective or love, as sure as being a little cruel, as sure as making you feel insecure by calling you names or telling you his last girlfriend was better than you, as sure as creating hoo-hars with your friends and family in order to create a division between you, as sure as telling you you are not allowed to go here or there or talk to this or that person, as sure as telling you not to wear make-up, wear your hair like that etc etc etc.

 

Please stop allowing this man to manipulate and abuse you any more.

 

He's grown up enough to look after himself.

 

Now you go and look after you and your future because the only person this man thinks about is himself.