Nucca Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 Hi, this girl I like, we used to be best friends. I told her that I had feelings for her a couple of months back. But as the usual saying- she didn't want to ''ruin our friendship''. Later that day she called me and said that she was glad that I told her how I felt and she doesn't want this to end our friendship..believe it or not it brought us closer...we were still as good friends as we used to be but not together (everyone thought we were).. Some months later she told me that she loved me but she was not sure if she was INLOVE with me. She also said that it was guaranteed that she'll fall inlove with me. I was a coward and did nothing to try to get her (stupid)..we started to slip from each other but she still showed interest..again I did nothing!! later she started to become rude towards me so I started to play hard but it backfired me and now we're not even friends (she neglects me) and acts rude towars me..and this really hurts because I really like her these few days we haven't even talked to each other casually..and when she's online on MSN she doesn't even write..before she ALWAYS wrote..but no more ..what should I do? is there a chance that she still likes me? should I talk to her why she's like the way she is towars me? what should I do?? I need y'all advice... PS. we're in the same class, still she neglects me, we say hi (sometimes even casual talk with tension) when we see each other....... Link to comment
arwen Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 I think you should ask her what's up. Because as long as you don't know, and this continues, this will probably end the friendship AND the chance of getting together. I'd write a letter or email explaining what YOU think happened and how you feel about the no-friendship status you have going on now. Then ask her if you did anything to upset her such that she is now ignoring her.You can also simply ask her if she wants to go for a coffee because you need to talk to her. Take care, Ilse Link to comment
honeyspur Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 I would admit to her about how scared you were. Women love the vulnerability of men - it's just a fact. They don't like cry-babies of course, but thats not you - so let the scary stuff come out. Write a letter if you're literally shaking in your boots - but if it's not that bad, talk to her face to face. If she's rude, stay open and nuetral. Tell her you don't blame her for being mad and apologize for confusing her. Tell her you want to get back on track, then offer to call her after school - or let her call you. Chat on the phone and let things grow. If she seems uninterested, still offer apologies and start choosing to look for someone else. Link to comment
brando Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 You can always try to make her a wee bit jealous. This may increase her curiosity about you if she is still interested. Talk to other girls, or another girl. Why settle for one when their are so many around you. I don't think you need to apologize, you have not done anything to offer up one. If anything she needs to apologize to you for acting rude and neglectful towards you. So perhaps you should be taking a different perspective on this situation. And she needs to start worrying why you are not talking to her. This is a classic case of what turns girls off. The more you persue her looking for an explanation, the less attractive you become. Do not let this happen. Link to comment
honeyspur Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 The reason I feel apologies are a good idea is because you are aware that you just got cold feet. You aren't apologizing for something you did wrong, you're apologizing for giving a signal, then freezing up. You didn't mean to do that, so just make ammends. You haven't done anything wrong - but you do seem to understand that things were going well, then because of anxiety, you tripped and stumbled. No big thing. But confusing to a girl who was starting to give you a chance. And yes, as brando said, there are so many girls out there. Just keep going. Link to comment
brando Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 honeyspur, from a womans perspective, why would she want to act neglectful towards him, maybe i am missing this piece to the puzzle.... Link to comment
honeyspur Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 Because she said quite clearly she wasn't sure about getting together with him, but she was willing to give it a shot. Then he faded out of the picture, but not on purpose. She may have felt led on and is upset. Apologizing is not always about wallowing in guilt - you are right - he has nothing to be sorry for - but sorry isn't a chore - and apologizing shows you are capable of speaking up and taking responsibility for your side of the problem. It's gutsy and mature. In turn she will probably admit her fault. Care comes from being the first one to admit wrong - because a conflict is about BOTH people being wrong at the same time - not one. Link to comment
Italiantim Posted December 1, 2006 Share Posted December 1, 2006 Apoligize to her - it may take a while Link to comment
Nucca Posted December 2, 2006 Author Share Posted December 2, 2006 this ish too depressive..I know I have to talk her, apologize and all that...but won't telling how I feel for her scare her and make me less attractive? Link to comment
mysteryman22 Posted December 2, 2006 Share Posted December 2, 2006 just be honest with her, tell her how u feel. Like the person above said a letter can do wonders and women do like people going after them, esp ones they like. Seems that she did like you as friends and was comfortable there. Is there is someone else in her life? mate, if you love her then let her know, show her. Give her jestures and compliments. Above all you both need to talk to each other, sit her down and ask whats wrong. Go the extra mile. Link to comment
Nucca Posted December 2, 2006 Author Share Posted December 2, 2006 this friday after school I was on my way home and I walked pass by her and she asked me if I was going home and I said yes (my friends including her always take the same bus home..and everyone ALWAYS wait for each other by the lockers, no exceptions hehe)..I went to my lockers to take my books and she started to stress me to hurry up cause people started to walk towards the bus..after 1 minute when I packed everything in my bag I noticed she had left...and I got pissed cause a couple weeks back I waited 1 hour for her and her friend after school and she couldn't wait 1 minute..anyways I walked a couple of meters towards the bus and she called me, but I didn't pick up cause I was pissed and I purposley missed the bus my friends took and took the one that came after... 1hour I waited for her and she couldn't wait 1 minute??? What the hell is this? I mean, if she liked me then she would've waited for me, right? and if she doesn't then why did she call?? -- probably to say that the bus was coming..... Link to comment
Nucca Posted December 2, 2006 Author Share Posted December 2, 2006 mysteryman22..I don't think there is someone else in her life..but sometimes she talks about her ex....last year they tried getting back together but it didn't work out...if she was comfort then why did she tell me that she loves and that it's guaranteed that she'll fall inlove very soon?? Link to comment
Nucca Posted December 3, 2006 Author Share Posted December 3, 2006 People!! If I write a hand written letter how can it make things better?? She will know how I feel about her but what about me?? Link to comment
Nucca Posted December 5, 2006 Author Share Posted December 5, 2006 is it possible that she's neglecting me because she's pissed at me? I mean we don't say hi to each other anymore... and no I haven't talked to her yet Link to comment
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