What to do ?

[stewi]

My ex? and i met at uni when we were 21. She fell pregnent very shortly after being together. I was totally unshore about becomeing a father but decided to go along with her and become a young parent. 31/2 years later we have 2 beatifull happy children though our relationship is almost over. There were many good and bad times shared between us. I struggled to get rid of my partying habbits which had its affect on her, but have finally matured into a responsible parent. Our arguing was a major problem, so much so that after procrastinating about moveing out for a while, i eventually did. This i regret as shortly after, her friend moved in, another younger female who may lead her astray. Our arrangements were i had the kids of evening after work and every 2nd weekend. Basically she has been enjoying her freedom so much she doesn't want to look back. She has sleept with one other guy she has told me about and put an AVO on me for a minor argument. She says she is really unshore about who she is. One weekend when everything is good she'll tell me to hang in their. The next she'll tell me it's over. I am truly heartbroken as all i want is my family together, but don't know if things will ever be the same between us if i get a 2nd chance with her. Maybe now im just lonely being a single dad, i just don't know what to do, and how to move on? I feel as if im trapped in a very difficult situation. I know when i don't have contact with her things arn't as bad, but when i do i break down and totally wear my heart on my sleeve.

[friscodj]

Welcome to ENA stewi! Great to have you around here.

 

Well, let me first commend you for being a real man and being a father to your children. You get a big pat on the back for that my friend.

 

You've grown up man and she is in that process right now. As far as the relationship goes, the unbiquitous ENA notion of "no contact" (NC) is not an option for you. You want to keep your family together and doing so requires contact with the mother of your children on a parental level if nothing else.

 

Things may or may not work out for you and her, only time will tell. You should focus on being a good parent, taking care of your children, and working towards better emotional ground in accepting this situation with your girlfriend.

 

You are in a difficult situation but I don't see it as being trapped. You need to adjust and adapt to the situation which you will do in time. Just focus on being the best Dad you can and making some emotional distance from this woman. Get adjusted to the situation, get some more solid emotional footing with this. Let her go in this sense but keep the balance to maintain a healthy parental relationship to your children. Tough? Yes, very, but you can do it.

 

The bottom line is that your children are your first priority here and realize there will be more opportunities at love in the future.

[L.J.]

Hey Stewi, I understand your situation. It's hard as it to be young parents, even harder to be a young single dad and having problem in your relationship.

 

It is hard and you feel trapped but it's not impossible to move on. It takes time. Enjoy your time with your beautiful kids in the evening. They really need you now. Every other weekend when they are with their mother, you go out and enjoy your freedom, Hang out with old friends and make new ones. Before you know, you will be moving on. Be strong and hang in there for you and your kids. How old are they? Boys or girls?

[friscodj]

Hey Stewi, I understand your situation. It's hard as it to be young parents, even harder to be a young single dad and having problem in your relationship.

 

It is hard and you feel trapped but it's not impossible to move on. It takes time. Enjoy your time with your beautiful kids in the evening. They really need you now. Every other weekend when they are with their mother, you go out and enjoy your freedom, Hang out with old friends and make new ones. Before you know, you will be moving on. Be strong and hang in there for you and your kids. How old are they? Boys or girls?

 

Good post L.J., well said...

[L.J.]

A pot calling a kettle black. Yours too, friscodj ... great post