Want to trust him but I can't

[penda]

I feel like I can't trust my guyfriend that I once dated. We were dating for a little while and all was great, but things got really hectic with our lives (career, family, school, etc), so now we are just friends. Gradually though we saw less and less of eachother and the phone convos became sporatic. I begin to feel like he lost all interest in me. So we eventually talked and he said he was still interested, just right now he can't put forth the effort in relationship that he feels I deserve. I even thought he wanted to see other people and I said that if I was holding him back from that let me know. He told me that it was not case, and even if it was, he wouldn't have the time to do it anyway.

 

Well, I honestly want to trust him, but I can't. The basis of any friendship is trust, I feel bad that I feel this way. I think about past situations where a guy would say "let's be friends" and they are full of crap. This guy has reassured me that he really wants friendship and once things settle down, he would like to pick up where we left off. He said I'm still on his mind and in his heart. Again, I want to believe him but for some reason I can't.

 

I get tired of calling him and not ever knowing when to catch him and always get his voicemail. I end up anxiously waiting for his call. I only call 2 to 3 times a week. Well we were suppose to get together, yesterday, and he supposedly got very sick. I want to believe he really was sick, but I think it something else.

 

I hate feeling like this. I don't know if this my own insecurities and negativity eating me up, or if this intuition. I really want to handle this relationship right and not blow it, if it is the right thing. He seems like a great guy, but sometimes i think its too good to be true. Please help me make the right choices.

[nadine_3110]

If you still want to stay friends with him, I think you should. But your feelings for one another could get in the way of your friendship. I think it would be a good idea, for the time being, to kinda distance yourself a bit from him. Start hanging out with other friends, maybe don't call him as often. Some guys just don't know what they have till it's gone, make him realize that. And what kind of stuff is he figuring out? It might be just an excuse to not be with you in a romantic relationship.

 

And yes trust is very important in any relationship. I had the same issue with my current bf. We were together, broke up for 7 months and then got back (been together 7 months) and at one point in our relationship, I realized that I didn't trust him not to leave again. I was so scared that I was going to get my heart broken, so I mustered up all my courage and brought down the barriers that I put there because of him, and I gave him my heart. I trust him completely now, there are occasional glitches, but they don't last very long. Trust has to be gained but it also has to be given. It's your choice, you can choose to trust him or not, you might get hurt, but you can't have any relationship without trust.

Good luck!

[Sonidos]

Explore other places, he is not the only destination.

[silentalways]

my last request is simply this - and i ask this of the woman i love from the bottom of my heart - if today, right now, you never see us together again - please just leave me a message on my answering machine tonite - simply saying that fact - and i will stop hoping and move on. i promise.