should i

[stillwantinhim]

well me and my ex was dateing for 7 months and we were doing fine he was so nice we would get into it but would make up.when we found out we was going to have a baby he was so happy but he had change he would call me b's h's almost ever day but only when he was around his friends when we are alone he love's so much...our baby is here he is three months now is says he love's me but before he barely came around and call me so many names..i think i still love him he was my first what am i supose to do...

[Survictor]

This is a very disfunctional relationship.

 

Your baby is in danger of watching his Father treat you so poorly and either repeating the example he learned or believing it is right to be treated so badly.

 

Either way, this is a bad relationship.

 

As the mother of his baby, you are entitled to more loyalty, love and respect than he is willing to give.

 

Get out of it before you end up a sad, embittered, lonely lady without any self respect and a son/daughter who thinks that way too having watched their Father abuse you.

 

It is likely he will also verbally abuse his children too.

 

Do you intend to stick around for that?

[stillwantinhim]

No... we are not together and i dont want to be with him i just sometimes wish it was like the old days(and i dont wont my son to be like that) i use to call him like like crazy when i was pregent he would did not talk to me much he not there when our son was born because he said he hates my family and he only seen my mother he hates my sister and brothers for no reason but his mother was on durgs ans was never there for him he has no family when we were dateing he was great and when we found out we were going to have a baby he was so happy he gaves me money wheni ask but he dose not know how to control him self when he get mad he needs to talk so someone but he wont...he loves his son and spend time with him and would never try to hurt him its just he dose not know how to talk to a women all his relationships he call girls b's an i found that out...but he said he love me and that he's changed but i dont think so..... he's 20 and im 18...

[Survictor]

I doubt if he has changed. His Mother was not a great influence on him and those early teachings that are ingrained are quite hard to overcome... even if you know how wrong they/you are and long to break the cycle.

 

He really needs counselling but I don't think this is what he has in mind. He will continue as he knows how but it will never be good enough for your son unless he does. He is damaged by his own past and has the potential to damage yours and your sons.

 

Perhaps if he was willing to attend counselling, there might be a future for you and he together... even so.. it would be a long, difficult road and I do think your son will learn bad examples from him.

[stillwantinhim]

i really just want him out of my life but we have a child how am i not going to talk to him or see him when i drop the baby off he thinks i just do it to see him when thats not the case i just want him and his son to have a relationship and i use to ask him were he was but i stop being noise i dont ask about his life anymore and he told me to stay out his business so i do but now he ask me were i am all the time and who im with and when i dont tell him he get's mad and we dont talk for weeks.he trys to make me mad by saying our son needs to meet his new step mom but he is not seeing anyone sometimes i get mad but do show his that im mad and that makes him mad...he is crazy...what do i do i want him out.......

[Tj williams]

wow i just read that whole thing and im sorry to hear what just happened. in my opinion you should get out before its to late. yea you want your son to at least grow up with a dad that cares for him, not saying that your ex doesnt. you need to forget about him. yea its going to be hard cause you have a kid but relize this. all you have now is your son and let him be your motivation to move on and find someone who would treat you and your son right. someone who will take responsibilty and be a good role model. give your son something you never had. take that as an opinion. good luck!