she will never go away, but she wont affect me again.

[TearsofaDragon20]

I gave up on my ex for the last time after she went and started seeing someone after she wanted to get back together. i just left her alone and she caused more insult to injury than she did before. i went and lived my life the way i was supposed to and dealt with the fact that she did that and that ill never talk to her again. just a week ago she IM'ed me on AIM asking why i didnt talk to her, and why i hated her so much. well i let it out to her straight out that i never will forgive what she did to me. and she didnt agree with the fact that i said that. i figure that she's toying with me just to see how far i would go to be with her again, thing is that i wont give her the time or day or my life again. my question to all this is, why is it that you get rid of the ex's in your life and you turn a new page in a book to start a new chapter only for the same person to be there again. is it that ex's haunt you for the rest of your life and only to tourment you with their memories or is it their way of playing a mindless game? it never makes any sense to me and i dont know if there will be a true anwser out there. but i know this much ill make sure that she doesnt come back into my life to only destroy it again. her days of that are over. this chapter will not have her in it ever again.

[hennypenny]

Tearsofadragon

 

I am so amazed by ur strength.....when my ex would come back, he'd always want to sit and talk about when we were together....and that would lead to confessions on his part....he'd tell me he loves me still, he misses me, needs me, he'd even beg for a 2nd, 3rd, 4th,.....11th chance and I'd give in. Some times those ex's u speak of come back because their looking for what they use to have....some1 who loved them, desired them but, mostly they come back when everything else is crumbling at feet.....my ex always came back when his luck was down, my family said it was because no matter how bad things got with him, I'd always take care of him, love him and give him the support we all need when the world looks bleak....that and they said I was his good luck....things would change for the better when we were together.....but, things got worse in my world when he was around.

the funny thing is I can't give up on him.....I told this to my mom when he came around a few months ago....and she wanted to know why. I guess, its because I lost so much to him.....my heart, my soul, my first kiss, my virginity, my joy, my gramma stopped talking to me because I was letting him back into my life again and again but, I made myself a promise. Of all the things I lost I promised myself I wouldn't lose hope ...hope for him and everyone else....my compassion. Some times, we can screw up so badly and there's some one there to forgive us......to believe we can be better or that we are better. I use to believe aaron was torturing me by reminding me of our past....he'd sit there and talk about every day we were together....but, some times its the memories of the good times that make the bad so small....u know. If I sat here and thought about every thing bad about aaron.....I'd b so bitter towards him and thats not who I am....and I refuse to change because of him....No one says u have to let her back into ur life but, some times we all need some one to believe in us...to believe we are capable of being better.

Have u ever heard of acedia?? It's an emotion dysfunction.....and some times it can start small and over time blossom into a huge problem...don't fall victim......don't b used but, don't keep hate in ur heart either sweetie