In need of advice

[lolly]

Well my ex and I broke up a few weeks ago...

 

Problem is we have been kinda seeing each other since about a week after the break...And I knew he was seeing another girl. He explained that he needed to go out on this date to see if "i was the one" which honestly seemed like a line..but I gave in...

 

Well later to find out that he has actually been trying to hook up with a friend of mine, now when we were together...we would all joke about getting together...and we were just "joking" or so I thought...well he broke up with me...

 

Well basically my question is...the ex I know for a fact is trying to date other girls and all that including a friend of mine, who tells me what is going on..

 

But the question is "Should I seek revenge" for him playing me for a fool...

 

I guess the old song goes....I once was blind but now I see...would desrcibe me very well...

 

I am utterly ticked off...I know he dating other girls...I have snooped in his personal things online..and he confirmed it today...Should I expose him for the fraud he is? To the other girls?

[Phoenix69]

definitely! Not only will you feel better, but he will feel really bad for being such a pratt.

[ratherbesailing]

Nope, no revenge. Take that energy and do something positive for yourself. He's not worth an ounce of your energy. Boy, I wish I was able to follow my own advice.

[Captain34]

I guess my situation is similar to yours...

 

We've been split for over 4 months since she broke it off, and cant do somplete NC do to many mutual friends and that we live in the same community. I have healed a great deal but despite the fact that she doesn't call me to tell me that she's still caught up in it, mutuals friends say things and her behavior suggests that she is.

 

I've been dating and enjoying it, except for the fact that it seems like I always run into one of her friends when I'm on a date. So I know she knows about it. For one I feel awkward pursuing other women when I love my ex more than ever, but I also don't want her to think I've moved on and wouldn't consider reconciling.

 

I want to reach out, but again she hasn't done the same to me (at least not in a month), and I don't want to make it harder for her because I do care about her a great deal. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.

 

Now granted, our timelines are different, but when someone breaks it off with you you can't help but want to find someone else even if you still want to be with your ex.

[blender]

NO, do not become like HIM in order to teach him a lesson, IF YOU WANT TO FEEL BETTER, you become someone YOU can admire yourself.... The BEST thing you can show him that will have the strongest effect is INDIFFERENCE, meaning, he NO longer has an important place in your life... and you do this by getting back to LIVING YOUR OWN LIFE...

 

Be careful of thinking of things like "REVENGE'.. I understand you thinking about it, but ACTING ON IT, shows NO class... and you have class, so let go of this guy, he has "revealed" to you who he really is, and now you can make a choice to no longer give him an ounce of your energy, energy of thought, or of any actions..

 

Karma is real... do not make the mistake of thinking doing something to upset him would make you feel better, it won't.. it will make you feel "LESS"... less of yourself.. don't give him that power in compromising yourself and lowering yourself to his lack of standards... set your own, and look ahead for the wonderful things in your future, he's just been a speed bump on the road that is your life... remember that.. and move on gracefully...with class and self respect to just let him go live his life...

 

Please think this through, revenge will not look pretty on you. It's a lose-lose idea. doing something to get revenge will only make him grateful that he broke up with you... if you want him to think highly of you (more importanly how you think and feel about yourself) then behave with class and respect for YOURSELF.. it's no longer about him..take care of you in a classy way.

 

Have the self respect to honor your own choice to be classier than he and don't do anything to be revengeful towards him.. the sweetest revenge is your own self success, class, respect, and happiness... leave him alone and get back to finding YOURSELF.. you are very important, special and will find a new love at some point, but it starts with loving yourself enough not to stoop to a level of putting energy towards this ex anymore..

[DaDancingPsych]

In the end, it won't make you feel better and you'll have additional drama to deal with. Focus on yourself. A cheating liar won't get away with it forever, these woman will figure it out! Don't do it!

[Mun]

Hey there, I'm sorry that you got hurt and correct me if I'm wrong but........

 

If he told you he was going to date other girls and you continued to see him-- you didn't get played. You knew what was going on. He didn't make a fool out of you, maybe you fooled yourself?

 

Now these other girls may not believe you if you expose him to them. Besides, you're not wanting to do it out of consideration...you want revenge. They might think you are being jealous.

 

I'd stay out of it. You really don't know what is between them. What if they like it that way? you never know.......

[blender]

This guy is going to have to face the fact that "no matter where he goes there HE is"... Let go of him, respect yourself, he no longer deserves your precious heart, energy, or thought... if he did this to you, he will do it to the next girl, it's HIS pattern, you can not "fix" it, or prove to anyone else that it's right or wrong, just have pride in the fact that his actions and behaviors are no longer right for YOU...