Not loving her or not loving myself?

[jordan1176]

I recently got back together with my girlfriend. I realized after I had broken it off that it was not her which was negatively affecting our relationship, but rather it was me who was not fully committed emotionally.

 

She is so kind and giving, and only wants to make me happy. Yet I am constantly turning her away, and avoiding her. The feeling I get reminds me of my teenage years (which were not long ago - I'm 26)...that feeling of teenage angst. For example when my parents, who love me so much would show affection I would become distant, and feel moody and angry. I built an emotional shell around myself and hated when anyone tried to penetrate that shell. I thought I had finally left those years behind, but they've seemed to resurface with my girlfriend.

 

She never asks for anything material, but only wants me to tell her I love her. Or ask her to go to dinner, or spend time with her. And I can't seem to find the feelings for that lately. Instead I am aloof, and unkind.

 

Part of the reason I originally broke it off was b/c I was starting to feel like this, and I figured it meant somehow I was "falling out of love" with this girl who I once felt so much for. But then being apart from her, I realized how much I missed her and how she was such a positive influence in my life. I also remembered that I've never stopped loving my parents but yet I used to feel like this with them. I realized it's part of growing up. But now that I am back in it I am creating this wall/shell again.

 

How do you know when you are falling out of love with someone vs. perhaps just not loving yourself?

[RedRoses]

what is it that you run or hid from. is knowing that some one loves you or is it the signs of affection. Does she hug you or vise versa, do you kiss.

 

it's deffinetely not a matter of whether you love yourself, the question is whether you allow others to love you.